Seven Characters In Search of a Story
by tfm
Summary: Tonks, Sirius, Snape, Narcissa, Luna, Dobby and Bob the Dementor must save the Wizarding World one evil faction at a time. Together, they walk the downward spiral to insanity. Complete.
1. Prologue

Summary: Harry, Ron and Hermione are missing. Ginny is in a coma. Which odd folk will be charged with finding them, and just what does the Wizarding Mafia have to do with it?

Ratings: M (for safety reasons)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Prologue

Harry Potter felt beside him for his dropped wand. Instead, all he felt was the dampened grass. Confused, he expanded his search; it couldn't have fallen far. After a few seconds of fruitless hunting, he realised that the substance that swathed the grass was blood – his blood. A long tear in his robes revealed an ugly gash, the result of _Sectumsempra_, or something just as scarring.

'Harry! Harry!' Ron's voice sounded oddly resonant in Harry's ears, as though they were imprisoned in the deepest of dungeons.

'I'm- I can-' Harry stopped attempting to talk, and concentrated his efforts on finding his misplaced wand. Then, he could at least have a method of defence, even if he couldn't heal himself. There, the wand had disguised itself against the trunk of an apple tree, almost invisible in the low moonlight.

'_Protego_!' he yelled, almost on instinct alone. A stunner bounced off the temporary shield. Stunner – that was good. It meant their attackers were trying to incapacitate or capture, as opposed to kill. Of course, they could always kill after stunning though.

'Where's Hermione?' yelled Harry.

'Back that way. She got hit.' Ron dived behind the apple tree, an Impendiment Jinx narrowly missing him. He landed rather haphazardly, dirt streaking his face and hair. 'Ginny too,' he added.

'They're not...They didn't..?' Harry was in too much pain to finish the sentence – he suspected that the gash was not the worst of his injuries.

'Just unconscious, I think. I dunno, I didn't see any green flashes.' He stuck his head out from behind the tree, and ducked back in again. 'Thought someone would have come by now. We're not that far from the house, they must've seen something.' Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny had been partaking in a friendly game of Quidditch when they had been attacked without notice. When Hermione cast the first counter-spell, Harry could have sworn she was almost grateful of the momentary distraction from the sport. Now, though, things were getting desperate. Not even looking as to where he was pointing his wand, Harry shot out a Disarmer. He hit someone, and with great force, because there was a short yell, and the sound of something heavy slamming against a tree trunk.

'Come out now Potter, we're not all so easily dispatched with simple spells. Our orders are not to kill, so I suggest you come out now before I'm forced to forget these orders.' The voice was unfamiliar, as was the momentary glimpse of face Harry caught as he took a quick look out.

'Still five or six of them,' he muttered to Ron. 'I don't think I can hold out much longer.'

'Me neither,' Ron gritted, though it clearly upset him to admit so.

'All or nothing?' suggested Harry.

'I'm with you 'til the end, mate.'

Filled with adrenaline, the two charged from behind the tree, simultaneously shouting '_Stupefy_!' Outnumbered and pre-empted, they both fell to the ground in a flash of bright red light. The battle had lasted all of two minutes.


	2. Chapter One

Summary: Harry, Ron and Hermione are missing. Ginny is in a coma. Which odd folk will be charged with finding them, and just what does the Wizarding Mafia have to do with it?

Ratings: M (for safety reasons)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Chapter One

The Wizarding world was in an uproar. Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, Dragon Slayer (Dragon Avoider, really), Parselmouth, and all around enigma, was missing. And as it happened, no-one really seemed to care as much as they should. Rufus Scrimgeour, head of the Auror Office, was fielding questions from an irate Arthur Weasley.

'My son is missing. _Harry Potter_ is missing. Doesn't that mean _anything _to you, Scrimgeour?'

'Listen, Weasley, I understand your situation, and I'm sorry, but we're stretched thin at the moment. Shacklebolt's heading the search for Sirius Black, Dawlish and Proudfoot are on the hunt for Hierosolyma Medaba. I just don't have the numbers.' Scrimgeour sounded anything but sorry. If he anything, he was almost relieved at the boy's absence; he always seemed to generate more paperwork.

'Please, Rufus,' there were tears in Arthur's eyes. 'Is there _no-one_ available?'

Scrimgeour pondered the thought. 'I suppose I could send old Moody and owl. Bring him out of retirement for one last case.'

Arthur opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by what sounded like a cubicle wall toppling to the ground.

'Tonks,' Scrimgeour muttered under his breath. As if on cue, a young woman with shock of hair that could only be described as violently purple came into view. As the sound suggested, she had knocked over a cubicle wall, and a domino effect had ensued. She righted everything with a quick wave of her wand.

'Mr. Weasley, this is Nymphadora Tonks. Not a bad Auror, but more trouble than a Chimaera in a Crystal Ball shop.'

'Sorry sir,' she said, a little sheepishly. 'Was finishing up my report on the Docarus case, and I leaned back a little too far.'

Scrimgeour did a double take. 'You've caught Docarus?' he asked.

'Yeah, I was planning on owling you as soon as I'd gotten him, but he was a little reluctant on being brought in, so I had to do a bit of cleanup first.'

Arthur choked on his voice. 'Does-does that mean you don't have any casework at the moment?'

Tonks shrugged. 'Not my call,' she said.

Arthur looked at Scrimgeour, almost pleadingly.

He sighed. 'All right then. Case file's in the third cabinet, filed under P. And I guess you should talk to Mr. Weasley here too.'

Tonks retrieved the Potter file, though it would be more accurate to refer to it as the Potter, Weasley and Granger file. The Wizarding World always seemed a little close-minded when it came to Harry Potter.

'If you'll come with me, Mr. Weasley,' Tonks spoke, trying her best to sound detached. 'I believe we can discuss this at my desk, that is, unless you would prefer a different location.'

'There's a Muggle teashop just down the road that I'm rather fond of,' suggested Arthur, though his tone of voice indicated something else entirely. The two took the lift to the Atrium, and made their way to the fireplaces near the end, more specifically, to one of the fireplaces that led to the Muggle world above. Their conversation on the journey was short, and impersonal, as if they hardly knew each other. However, when they were outside in the harsh summer sunlight, certain that there was no-one nearby, Tonks whispered. 'To Grimmauld Place?' Arthur nodded silently in reply.

The two disapparated, leaving the Ministry of Magic behind.


	3. Chapter Two

Summary: Harry, Ron and Hermione are missing. Ginny is in a coma. Which odd folk will be charged with finding them, and just what does the Wizarding Mafia have to do with it?

Ratings: M (for safety reasons)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Chapter Two

Number Twelve Grimmauld Place was by no means deserted. Since the events of the previous week, the house had - in addition to Sirius Black – Remus Lupin, Mundungus Fletcher, and the majority of the Weasley family as almost permanent residents. At this time, they had, at Molly Weasley's insistence, sat down at the long table for lunch.

Having heard the echoes of footsteps on the stairs, Molly was waiting by the door, wand at the ready. She jumped when Arthur opened it.

'Oh, Arthur.' She sunk into his arms, without waiting for a greeting. 'Ever since...I just can't help but be paranoid. Every footstep You-Know-Who coming to get us.'

Tonks stepped into the room after Arthur. Gloomy faces were cast into shadow by the flickering of the fire. Along with Sirius, Remus and Mundungus, there was Bill Weasley (having requested a secondment), Kingsley Shacklebolt (officially he had been on reconnaissance quite often recently), and, to Tonks's surprise, Albus Dumbledore. Though, on second thoughts, she realised that first of all, it was the middle of the summer holidays, and secondly, that Dumbledore would have been as distressed as anyone regarding Harry's disappearance.

'Ah.' Dumbledore intertwined his fingers beneath his chin. 'Arthur. Nymphadora. Has Mr. Scrimgeour come to his senses yet?' Tonks frowned, but said nothing scathing. Dumbledore was perhaps the only person who could truly get away with using her first name.

'I've been assigned to it,' she said shortly, in a manner almost anticipatory of their reaction. There was a short silence.

'There was no-one else?' asked Molly.

Arthur shook his head, seating himself next to Bill. 'I practically had to beg Scrimgeour just to get Tonks. I think he would have put anyone on it, just to get rid of me. Even a...' He struggled, lost for a politically correct term.

'Newbie?' suggested Tonks, dumping the file on the table, and dumping herself into the seat after it. 'I'm aware of how little experience I have, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to put everything into it. Harry might well be the last chance the Order's got, and I don't want to lose that because of shoddy stereotyping.'

'We should at least be grateful it was assigned to someone in the Order.' Remus spoke up from his position next to the fireplace. 'It's a great advantage to be able to follow the official avenues.' The words "great advantage" caused a few negative reactions. There were no advantages to the present situation; Voldemort back, the Ministry unsupportive, and now Harry missing, it was more like a long series of great disadvantages.

Tonks broke the silence by beginning her investigations. 'So, can you tell me in detail what happened that night?' She directed the question towards Molly and Arthur.

'Doesn't that report have anything useful?' asked Arthur.

'"H. Potter, R. Weasley, H. Granger: Missing. Further inquiries pending,"' read Tonks.

Molly turned an angry shade of red at the Ministry's ineptitude.

'It was getting dark. It might have been seven o'clock. Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny were out near the orchard, playing Quidditch. Fred and George said they were too busy studying, but I'm not sure I believe that excuse. I was about to go call them in when I heard screams, and saw flashes of light. I ran upstairs to get Arthur, but by the time we got there-' Her recount had been intermittent with sobbing, and when she reached the climax of the story, she could no longer continue. Arthur, no less distraught, finished it for her, 'We found Ginny, unconscious, but there was no sign of Harry, Ron or Hermione. There was blood, though. Plenty of it.' Molly sobbed loudly again. She was consoled by Arthur and, surprisingly enough, Sirius.

The escaped prisoner had been silent for the entire interaction, but there was a dark, brooding look in his eyes; Harry was all he had left of James and Lily, and damned if he was going to lose him. 'I want to help,' he said shortly.

'No.' Dumbledore's response was immediate and, apparently final. 'I cannot risk you revealing your location to Voldemort or the Ministry.'

Sirius stood up. 'I don't give a hippogriff's wing about the Ministry, or about Voldemort. My godson is missing, and I want to help find him. Please, Dumbledore.' There was a pleading look in Sirius's eyes; if Harry was gone, then he truly had nothing left.

Dumbledore saw an abyss in the younger man's eyes. 'Very well,' he said. 'But you must stay in your Animagus form wherever possible. And discretion must be shown – I do not want you gallivanting into Hogsmeade at two o'clock in the morning howling the British national anthem.'

For the first time in weeks, there was a hint of a smile upon Sirius's face. 'I don't know the British national anthem,' he whispered.


	4. Chapter Three

Summary: Harry, Ron and Hermione are missing. Ginny is in a coma. Which odd folk will be charged with finding them, and just what does the Wizarding Mafia have to do with it?

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Chapter Three

Dumbledore, it seemed, was keen on providing Tonks and Sirius with a travelling companion.

'He is most loyal to Harry, and will serve as a link of communication between yourselves and Hogwarts.'

Sirius looked down at the short figure with an abnormally long nose. 'It's a house elf,' he proclaimed.

'Well spotted, Sirius.' Tonks grinned at her cousin. First cousin once removed, in all technicalities, but in the Wizarding world, relatives were fairly tight knit.

'Dobby the house elf at your service.' Dobby made a short bow, if hesitant. He knew that Dumbledore trusted the two humans, but he also knew that they were both relatives of his old mistress, Narcissa Malfoy. But, then again, if they were looking to help Harry Potter, then Dobby trusted them. His mouth split into a wide grin.

'He can be most useful at times,' said Dumbledore, looking kindly upon the elf. 'Elf magic is far different from our own, and is not to be treated lightly. And if I may make a suggestion, you should visit the wizard houses in the vicinity of the attack first; they may have witnessed something vital.'

So Sirius, Tonks and Dobby apparated to just beyond the Burrow. Sirius glanced around quickly before transforming into a shaggy black dog. This surprised Dobby, who was not expecting it. 'Mr. Black is transforming into a dog, Miss Tonks!'

'It's okay, Dobby, he does that when he's looking for a bit of attention.' Sirius snapped playfully at Tonks's heels, unimpressed by the attempt at a joke. Tonks looked around a little apprehensively; they'd apparated a mile or so south of where they'd intended, which meant there was walking ahead. Normally, this was fine, but with Dobby's short legs, it was likely they wouldn't even make it to the Lovegood's by nightfall. Apparating again so soon would be strenuous.

'Sirius. Would it in any way damage your pride for a house elf to ride on your back?'

Even for a dog, Sirius looked dubious, but eventually he barked in agreement.

'Is that alright with you, Dobby?'

'Dobby is not used to masters caring what Dobby wishes. He does what master says.'

Tonks knelt down beside him. 'Please, Dobby, if you're scared, or uncomfortable, just tell me, and we can sort something out.'

Dobby shook his head. 'Dobby is not scared.'

'Good.' She lifted him up onto Sirius's back, and was briefly amused by the sight of the small elf atop the massive dog.

The walk to the Lovegood's house was uneventful. In fact, the most interesting moment of the whole trip was the actual arrival; the house was a mysterious tower on top of a hill.

'That the Lovegood place you think?' huffed Tonks; she was regretting having not apparated. Her question was met with silence, as Sirius could no longer talk, and Dobby probably had no idea who the Lovegoods were. Tonks took the silence to mean "let's just go up and check."

Sirius barked. It was not a loud bark, but a short, soft one to get Tonks's attention. He was pawing the ground near her feet. Tonks looked down; there was a glove lying in the grass. A Quidditch glove as she recognised it.

'Harry's?' This was met with a bark of agreement.

'Well, we know we've been this way then. Talk to the Lovegoods. See what they know.'

The front door was no less foreboding than the tower itself. Tonks, being the only person who could actually reach the knocker, rapped on the door.

The door was swung open by a girl of no more than fourteen. She had blonde hair, a wide eyed look, and what appeared to be miniature pumpkins hanging from her ears. If what greeted Tonks was strange, what met the girl was much stranger; a young woman with bright purple hair and purposely tattered clothes, and a toga-clad house elf astride a giant dog.

'Hello?'

'Miss Lovegood?'

'Yes?'

'I'm an Auror with the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Do you think I could have a word with one of your parents?'

Tonks saw the girl mouth a word that looked suspiciously like "Rotfang" before running off to find an adult.


	5. Chapter Four

Summary: Harry, Ron and Hermione are missing. Ginny is in a coma. Which odd folk will be charged with finding them, and just what does the Wizarding Mafia have to do with it?

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Chapter Four

The man who came to the door was no less out of the ordinary than his daughter. He was wearing a pair of bright orange robes, an odd-shaped hat, and a long chained necklace whose pendant was tucked beneath his robes.

'Xenophilus Lovegood? Auror Tonks from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement'

'An Auror, Luna?' He addressed his daughter, who remained close enough to see what was going on, but far enough to avoid any airborne gum disease.

'Your aura is far too pure for an Auror,' he commented, and Tonks found herself laughing at the unintended joke.

'They haven't quite corrupted me yet, sir. If I may, I'd like to ask some questions about last Thursday night.'

'Please, come in. The dog and elf are quite welcome.' He opened the door a little wider.

'It's okay; I think Snuffles would rather stay outside.' She knelt down to pat him, and whispered 'sniff around' in his ear. 'He does like examining gardens.'

Xenophilus frowned slightly. 'You're sure he won't eat the Dirigible Plums?'

'Quite sure.'

'Then by all means, come in.' Tonks lifted Dobby off of Sirius's back, and the shaggy black dog trotted off in search of clues.

The room in which they sat down was almost certainly engineered to make one's eyes bleed. It was circular, and painted in the most vivid shades of colour possible. Xenophilus served mugs of Gurdyroot infusion, and a platter of decorated cakes. Dobby was quite astonished to have been served his very own mug, and immediately burst into tears.

'It's okay,' Tonks assured Xenophilus over the sound of the sobbing. 'He apparently does this a fair bit.'

Not altogether assured, Xenophilus took a sip of his Gurdyroot infusion.

'On Thursday night at seven o'clock,' Tonks began, 'Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger were kidnapped from the Burrow. There was a battle, and the trio were evidently on the losing end. Can you tell me if you saw anything at all, Mr. Lovegood?' Tonks took a sip and swallowed out of mere politeness; she had never quite accustomed herself to the taste of mucus.

'Seven o'clock. Was that the time were heard all that shouting and banging?' he asked Luna, who was drinking her Gurdyroot infusion with gusto.

'Yes, I looked out the window and saw flashes, too.' She nodded somewhat overeagerly, the result being hot liquid spilt over her dress.

'Was there anything after that? Did they come this way at all?' Tonks would be glad for any lead – everyone was screwed if she couldn't solve this case.

'It was perhaps an hour later, someone knocked on the front door. Ask if we had any...what was it Luna? Chlorofam?'

'Chloroform, I think,' corrected Luna.

Tonks's eyebrows rose somewhat melodramatically. 'Chloroform? Are you sure?'

'Absolutely.' Luna nodded.

Tonks sighed. This case had just gotten three times more interesting, and ten times more dangerous. 'That's all I needed to hear,' she said.

'If I may,' Xenophilus interjected. 'Could I ask you a few questions about the Rotfang Conspiracy? I was planning on doing an article-' His words were drowned out by a cacophonous barking.

'Sirius,' muttered Tonks. 'I'm sorry, Mr. Lovegood, I have to go.'

There was a loud bang from downstairs as the door was blasted open.

'Bloody hell,' Tonks muttered, pulling out her wand. 'Stay up here!' she told Xenophilus, Luna and Dobby as she ran for the stairs. Sirius, still in dog form, had a man pinned by the throat against the far wall, hackles raised. A second man was not far behind him.

'_Stupefy!_' yelled Tonks, and the second man crumpled to the floor. In one deft movement, Sirius transformed, and punched out the man against the wall.

'There are more outside,' he panted. 'Three, maybe more. I don't know.' He pulled his wand from his pocket and cautiously approached the front door. The doorway exploded suddenly, throwing Sirius backwards.

'Blasted devils. At least six of them. They're surrounding the place.' He wiped a slow trickle of blood off his face, unconcerned.

'They don't give us seven years of magical education for nothing, Sirius. Let's show these bastards what we're made of.' Sirius grinned, despite the dire circumstances.

There was now a rather wide opening in the place where the door used to be. It meant they had a clear shot at half their attackers, but their attackers had just as clear a shot at them.

Sirius managed a rather powerful Stunner, knocking down two attackers with the one spell. Clearly, twelve years in Azkaban had not dampened his magical abilities.

'_Sectumsempra_!' The curse narrowly missed Tonks, who had attempted to Disarm the nearest attacker. Cut off from any possible escape, the two continued to throw spells both verbal and non-verbal at their attacks, the specifics of their identity suspected.

It was in an almost slapstick manner that Sirius, who was dodging a Killing Curse, ran into Tonks, who fell into the curse she was attempting to avoid in the first place.

'_Stupefy!_' Sirius regained his composure rather quickly, taking out the last remaining attacker. The bottom floor of the Lovegood house was a mess; at least half the wall was now missing, and the house was in danger of collapsing. Several bodies were littered around him, though they were unconscious as opposed to dead. The exception to this was Xenophilus Lovegood – he had evidently come down to help, and was killed where he stood. Tonks, too, was unresponsive, her purple hair streaked with dark blood.

There was now only one logical course of action. Sirius needed Dobby to send a message to Albus Dumbledore.


	6. Chapter Five

Summary: Harry, Ron and Hermione are missing. Ginny is in a coma. Which odd folk will be charged with finding them, and just what does the Wizarding Mafia have to do with it?

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Chapter Five

'He's_ what_?!' Sirius tried very hard not to take his anger out on Dobby, but it was almost unavoidable.

'I think what Dobby's trying to say is pretty clear, Sirius.' Tonks was lying down on the second floor couch; Sirius's healing abilities were not quite Healer standard, but they were enough to prevent imminent death. 'He's saying that Dumbledore's not at Hogwarts, and he's not at Grimmauld Place.'

The elf had jumped backwards at Sirius's harsh words, and, trembling, nodded when Tonks spoke.

'I expect he wasn't thinking we'd muck things up this early.' Tonks attempted to sit up, but was hindered by a sharp pain extending along her spine. 'Was there anyone else at Grimmauld Place, Dobby? Lupin? Mundungus, even?'

'There is no-one being there but Mr. Black's elf, Kreacher.'

'Fat lot of good that'll do,' muttered Sirius. Louder, he said, 'Did Kreacher say where they had all gone?'

'Dobby has gathered from Kreacher's foul words that they is visiting the youngest Wheezy in hospital.'

'Wheezy?'

'Must be talking about Ginny. Molly said something about visiting her later today.'

At that moment, Luna entered the room. At Sirius's behest, she (under the odd impression that he was the lead singer of the Hobgoblins) had packed a bag of clothes and necessary accessories. Sirius was adamant that they get out of there before the unconscious attackers downstairs awoke. He could have easily killed them and done away with it, but despite what the majority of the Wizarding World thought, he was not a killer. The unexpected absence of Dumbledore was a setback; they now had no official orders of what to do now that their so-called cover had been blown.

'First thing, I think, we should get as far away from here as possible,' moved Tonks. Her attempt at sitting up was successful this time, though it was no less accompanied with pain. 'Those blokes downstairs were obviously sent to impede anyone investigating, and I've got a bit of an idea who sent them.'

Sirius began to ask who, but was stopped by a silent shake of the head from Tonks. 'Not here,' she mouthed, casting a glance at Luna. It was for the same reason they could not go to Grimmauld Place – all those allowed access needed vetting, and at the very least a background check. While it was highly unlikely that the girl they had just orphaned was a Death Eater, in this day and age, paranoia was top of the list of recommended character traits.

'Your place?' suggested Sirius.

Tonks shook her head. 'They'll know who we are by now; they'll have people waiting.' She still hadn't explained to Sirius who "they" were.

'Know any good muggle inns?'

'Not any that allows pets. How about that cave you were staying in during the school year? It's close to Hogwarts, Hogsmeade.'

Sirius shuddered. 'I spent nine months in that cave; I'd rather not spend more.'

'Well you suggest something then. Where's the last place anyone would ever expect to-' she stopped, apparently having thought of something. Sirius did not like the grin on her face at all.

'_Expecto Patronum_.' She spoke the words in an almost carefree manner, and Sirius did not get a chance to see the silvery animal that burst from the tip of her wand; it disappeared almost instantly.

Several minutes later (Sirius noted the time spent waiting rather impatiently), Tonks evidently received the reply she had been hoping for. 'Can you apparate groups?' she asked Dobby, who nodded rather fervently. She leant down and whispered the location in his ear, more out of a sense of entertainment than out of secrecy. With a loud bang, they appeared in a cobbled street lined with derelict houses.

'Damned accurate apparition,' commented Tonks; they were right where they needed to be.

She let the motley bunch up the similarly paved footpath, and knocked twice on the heavy wooden door. It opened almost immediately.

Tonks let out a breath she didn't realise she'd been holding. 'Wotcher, Severus. You letting us in or what?'

Behind her, Sirius groaned in a pseudo agony. He really should have been expecting this.


	7. Chapter Six

Summary: Harry, Ron and Hermione are missing. Ginny is in a coma. Which odd folk will be charged with finding them, and just what does the Wizarding Mafia have to do with it?

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Chapter Six

'My, my, what an assorted bunch.' Severus Snape's words had the uncanny ability to sound threatening, even if they weren't. 'A Metamorphmagus Auror, an Animagus convict, a new age Ravenclaw student and a radical house elf. Have you thought about starting a band?'

'Not without our cynical Potions Master,' said Tonks brightly, stepping through the open door. Sirius, who walked through after her, gave his old enemy a look of nothing less than pure hatred.

The door opened into what was essentially a sitting room, though its expanse of books could have it doubling as a library. Snape did not offer them a seat.

'Tell me why it was so vital to intrude on my _private dwelling_. You are aware of my mission with the Death Eaters; if they were to discover you had come here, my cover would be well and truly blown.'

'You know Harry's missing?' asked Sirius sharply. It felt unusual for him to talk to Snape without insulting him.

'I am aware of Potter's disappearance, along with that of Weasley and Granger, though I fail to see where I come into it.'

'We were questioning Xenophilus Lovegood; their kidnappers went right past his house on the night. They ambushed us, killed Xenophilus.' Tonks threw an apologetic look at Luna, who was humming a song under her breath, eyes gazing across the bookshelf. She smiled at Tonks.

'It's quite alright. "To the well organised mind, death is but the next great adventure."'

'Didn't Dumbledore say that once?' Sirius asked Tonks, who shrugged.

'Perhaps I could make some tea,' suggested Luna, who sensed that the adults in the room were keen to talk without her present.

'That is a most excellent idea, Miss Lovegood, and I propose you take the house elf with you. The kitchen is through that door.' Dobby bowed low, but said nothing. He and Luna hastily exited through the appointed door.

'What is it you wish to tell me then, Black, Nymphadora? What urgent information possessed you to come knocking on my door?'

Tonks started pacing, her hand under her chin. 'Strange cases; evidence of a group of wizards – and witches – using their collective talents to control the Wizarding underworld. Not dark magic – nothing that obvious. Small things – illegal Veritaserum trading, dragon smuggling, a few assassinations. A lot of them are fond of using muggle methods, as a way of passing the quaffle, or to make up for their lack of magical skill. Uneducated, for the most part, or expelled even. Idiot enough for one of them to come knocking on Xenophilus Lovegood's front door looking for Chloroform.' She scoffed, in a manner that suggested that she was surprised that anyone could possibly be that stupid.

'What's Chloroform?' Sirius, the pure-blood, had little contact with the muggle world. Surprisingly enough, it was Snape that answered.

'A muggle drug. Useful for inducing unconsciousness. Really, where a simple Stunning spell or Sleeping Draught would suffice. The Wizarding Mafia indeed.'

'You've heard of them?' Tonks perked up, wondering if they were due for a break in the case.

'Indeed. Before my days as a Death Eater, I researched other possible avenues. The Wizarding Mafia was one of them. I am capable of reading clues as much as you, Nymphadora.'

Tonks gave him a look that was not unlike the ones she often gave him in her days as a N.E.W.T level potions student. 'What's that supposed to mean?'

'It means that the Dark Lord is just as eager to find Potter as the Order. He has charged me with finding him. By any means possible.'

'By any means possible?' Sirius raised an eyebrow. 'Does that mean...?'

Tonks grinned. 'Looks like the cynical Potions Master's down to become our new backup singer.'

Sirius could almost howl.


	8. Chapter Seven

Summary: Harry, Ron and Hermione are missing. Ginny is in a coma. Which odd folk will be charged with finding them, and just what does the Wizarding Mafia have to do with it?

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Author's Note: Chapter lengths are kept short so that I can update as regularly as possible. I have very little spare time and prefer to get the chapters done in one sitting. I will, however, attempt to lengthen them. Also note THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MILD SPOILERS FOR HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS.

Chapter Seven

They ended up staying the night at Snape's house, though it was with great hesitation. Every time an animal ran across the roof, every time the wind clattered against the trees, Tonks half expected to see Death Eaters bursting in the front door. What an interesting explanation that would be. "Oh, hello Aunt Bellatrix. I'm just here, spending the night at my favourite teacher's house. You know how much I miss old Snapey." She gave a grim smile at the thought of running into Bellatrix; the Death Eater's reunion with Sirius would be no less disastrous. It was fortunate, then, that Bellatrix Lestrange was incarcerated in Azkaban – for the time being, anyway.

Luna and Dobby were directed to the solitary spare room, up an almost dilapidated staircase. Tonks and Sirius felt that they could not sleep even if given the opportunity, and remained downstairs in the sitting room with a gloomy Snape. Future events had to be planned for.

'I am in acquaintance with the Captain of a particular Mafia crew who is quite eager for new blood.' Snape looked at his two companions as though he pitied whoever ended up stuck with them. 'As you are no doubt aware, the Mafia do not take kindly to failure. By now, those who failed to kill you will have been executed themselves; you will be free to infiltrate the Wizarding Mafia with little trouble.'

'Oh yes?' asked Sirius. 'And what'll you be doing? Sitting back and laughing at us, I suspect.'

Snape raised an oily black eyebrow. 'I am already a trusted compatriot. I have no need to prove my loyalties to them.'

'Probably just scared of him because he's in cahoots with the real bad guys,' Tonks muttered to Sirius. Unfortunately for her, Snape had fifteen years' practice of listening in on conversations below regular hearing level; most teachers had that skill.

'I recall a similar topic of discussion the week before your potions O.W.L, Miss Tonks. If I remember correctly your conversing with your neighbour about how a certain someone was "a bad boy", and recited, in great detail, as a matter of fact, how you were going to "string him along."'

Tonks turned a mild shade of red, but was not glaringly abashed. She responded in a calm tone of voice. 'What difference did it make? Still got an O, didn't I? Or did you not remember?'

'How could I possibly forget? I doubt anyone will ever succeed in cleaning the stains from the dungeon floor.' This, Tonks did turn bright red at. It wasn't her fault that goat's liver and dragon's liver looked so damned similar.

The distraction was momentary, and the trio soon resumed discussing strategies for determining the location of Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. It was nearly six a.m. before they had exhausted all conceivable options; it was time they tried to contact Dumbledore again. Snape conjured up his Patronus; it lingered briefly before galloping through the solid wall.

Sirius stared after the silver creature incredulously. 'Was that a _doe_, Snivellus?' It was only the third time that night he had said something scathing; quite a record, really, for him. 'You didn't want to be just friends with her, did you?'

Snape gave Sirius a look of disgust, and stowed his wand underneath his cloak. Tonks had absolutely no idea what Sirius was so astonished about, and she knew that prying further would reveal nothing.

The cynical Potions Master retreated upstairs to fill a bag with all the appropriate requirements. Tonks and Luna assisted Dobby in making waffles in the confined space of the dingy kitchen. Only Sirius remained in the sitting room, flipping through an old book on poisons and their antidotes. It was he who saw the silver doe burst through the solid front door and canter past him to the hidden staircase. Minutes later, Snape returned, an unreadable expression upon his face.

'It seems we will be making a detour,' he told Sirius. 'To Grimmauld Place.'


	9. Chapter Eight

Summary: Harry, Ron and Hermione are missing. Ginny is in a coma. Which odd folk will be charged with finding them, and just what does the Wizarding Mafia have to do with it?

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Author's Note: Chapter lengths are kept short so that I can update as regularly as possible. I have very little spare time and prefer to get the chapters done in one sitting. I will, however, attempt to lengthen them. Also, I'm lazy.

Chapter Eight

This week was not at all turning out well for Nymphadora Tonks. It had started with Docarus; she'd been tracking him for weeks and, finally, found herself in a position where she could nail him. Docarus, unfortunately, wasn't quite in the mood to be captured and had damn near landed Tonks in St. Mungos. Then there was this new case; find Harry Potter. And that had led to a whole new can of worms. Now she was with the most bizarre array of folk imaginable; Sirius Black, Severus Snape, Dobby, and Luna Lovegood. And for the third time that week, she walked straight into an ambush.

They had been waiting right outside Snape's front door; a dozen at least, all members of the infamous Wizarding Mafia. They were certainly hell-bent on killing, or at the very least capturing.

'Are you _trying_ to make my week worse?' she yelled at no-one in particular, simultaneously casting a series of non-verbal spells.

'This is just getting stupid,' Sirius agreed. 'If they only showed up once every now and again, it might be entertaining, but everywhere we go?' He was all for trouble-making, but only if it was randomised.

Snape, meanwhile, shook his head in disgust. He could never quite fathom the logic of combat banter and steadfastly refused to participate.

At one point, for a short second, time seemed to stop. There was Sirius, mid-way through an incantation, blood trickling down his cheek; Tonks, diving out of the way of a burst of green light, her left wrist hanging limp; Snape, casting _Sectumsempra_ for what seemed like the fiftieth time that day; and Luna, who appeared to be encouraging a group of quite invisible creatures to attack. Dobby though, had clicked his fingers once, and a powerful burst of magic erupted from them throwing the enforcers backwards into the nearest obstacle.

Tonks got to her feet, more than a little stunned. She had taken quite a few bumps to the head over the years, but even they shouldn't have stopped her from forgetting just how powerful house-elves could be.

'We need to get out of here,' Sirius said, dusting off his robes.

'Wait.' Tonks held up a hand. She turned to Snape. 'Do you have any Veritaserum?' This was answered with a nod of a greasy black head. Snape hurried back inside and returned with a small vial of the truth-telling serum. He uncorked it, tipping three drops into the slightly open mouth of the nearest casualty.

'_Rennervate_.' Snape's wand was pressed firmly against the man's chest, and it lifted gently as a breath was released.

'What is your name?'

'Icarus Brush.'

'Are you an enforcer of the Wizarding Mafia?'

'Yes.'

Tonks let out a brief string of curse words, but was silenced with a look from Snape.

'What were the details of your orders?'

'Find the Auror assigned to find Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. Capture her, and anyone she is with. If capturing fails, kill.'

'How did you discover this location?'

'The Lovegoods'. The ones taken out there were just the front line. Had a second team who tracked the Auror's Patronus.' Snape threw Tonks a patronising look. Her hair ephemerally turned a beet red, still awash with streaks of blood.

'And...what would be the most efficient way of infiltrating the Wizarding Mafia to find Potter, Weasley and Granger?'

'Crews are dynamic. Always needing new blood. But they'll recognise the Auror.'

Tonks gave a wicked grin. 'Oh, that'll be no trouble at all.'


	10. Interlude I

Summary: Harry, Ron and Hermione are missing. Ginny is in a coma. Which odd folk will be charged with finding them, and just what does the Wizarding Mafia have to do with it?

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Author's Note: Chapter lengths are kept short so that I can update as regularly as possible. I have very little spare time and prefer to get the chapters done in one sitting. I will, however, attempt to lengthen them. Also, I'm lazy.

Interlude I

This was, ultimately, not one of the more dignifying moments in Harry Potter's life. He had fought dark wizards, killed Basilisks and repelled Dementors. He had flown Hippogriffs, duelled Voldemort and slain Dragons (avoided them, really). After all that, he felt nothing less than pure humiliation at what he was being put through now. Strung by his wrists from the ceiling, Harry was naked from the waist up. His back and chest were both sliced to the point where it was difficult to tell what colour his skin was. Beside him, Ron fared little better; taller than Harry, his feet brushed lightly against the ground, though it was little recompense against the straining of his arms and the stinging of his torso. Hermione, though, their captors seemed to treat with some dignity. She too was bound, though to a straight-backed chair. Her muggle jeans and jacket were both soaked with blood, though it was not from any recent wound, recent in this sense being "from the last half hour." The captors seemed happy to let her watch the torture of her two best friends, perhaps convinced that, distressed by the sight of blood, she would reveal what they wanted to hear.

Hermione was stronger than that though; even if she knew what it was they wanted, she wouldn't have told them. As it was, the fact of what they were after did seem a little ambiguous.

'I've told you!' yelled Harry, for what felt like the thousandth time. 'I don't know what you're talking about. I've never _been_ to the Ministry of Magic, let alone the Department of Mysteries. I don't know anything about any _prophecies_.' He let out a guttural yell as he felt another slash across his back. If they kept going like this, he wouldn't have any skin left.

'I'm telling you. I don't know what you're talking about!' It seemed hopeless; their faceless torturer had no ears for ignorance.

'Oedipus!' The torturer jumped, so involved in his work that he hadn't heard the footsteps behind him.

'Yeah, _Pellinore_?'

The man named Pellinore seethed at his rather wand-happy companion. Apparently Oedipus had been acting outside of set boundaries.

'I think you've questioned enough. If they knew anything – anything at all, they would have said by now. These are teenage wizards, not hardened Aurors.'

'Maybe we'll have better luck with them Aurors then,' muttered Oedipus.

'Be logical at the very least, Oedipus. The Unspeakables run the Department of Mysteries. Do you really think they'd be off telling things to the Aurors? The only way the Aurors would know was if they sent someone down to look, and seeing as they don't know of its existence, they're hardly going to send someone looking, are they?' Pellinore, as it seemed, was one of the higher rungs of intelligence; Oedipus would have barely qualified to start climbing the ladder at all.

'They will if we tell 'em to,' shrugged Oedipus.

'What exactly are you suggesting, Oedipus?'

'Set another one of those ambushes. Get one of the fellas to get 'em onto prophecies. 'is probably about them, after all, innit?'

Pellinore frowned. It wasn't a bad idea. Coming from Oedipus, no less. There must have been something going on; curses, or strange foes, or whatnot. One had to keep an eye on oneself in these dark times, especially since the return of Lord Voldemort. Pellinore knew that Albus Dumbledore was not a fool; if he believed the Dark Lord to have returned, then it was certain to be so. The real mystery was why he had left Harry Potter with so little protection. The Wizarding Mafia, it seemed, had been underestimated.

'Would you like to volunteer, Oedipus?' The question sounded alarming like an order, and was accompanied by a sharp glare.

'If you reckon I'm the right person for the job, then I'll do it.' Oedipus had long since learned to hide the fear from his voice, though he could not prevent it from contaminating his expression.

'I believe the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix will be their next stop. Do you know of its location, Oedipus?'

Oedipus shrugged. 'Can't. Fidadilus charm, or summat. Fidelus, maybe. You know, one with the Secretkeeper. Best just wait 'n' see what they do, I think. They might try and infiltrate, and then we can accidentally let one go, or summat.'

Pellinore frowned again. Oedipus was showing remarkable aptitude all of a sudden. Some of his ideas had merit, though not all of them were considerably bright.

Pellinore healed the wounds that shrouded both Harry and Ron. They audibly breathed sighs of relief. Waving his wand once more, Pellinore muttered, '_Diffindo_,' and the chains that held the two to the ceiling snapped. Their hands were still bound, and there would be no escaping from the sealed room.

'Come Oedipus. Oh, and tell me. How _is_ your mother?'

A/N: Well that was slightly longer, for the first interlude. Named Interlude I because I'm just not sure how many there're going to be, nor how long this story will be. As you can see, everything is perfectly planned out, and every plot twist will be foreshadowed. As a further note, reviews detailing your thoughts on my progress would be much appreciated.


	11. Chapter Nine

Summary: Harry, Ron and Hermione are missing. Ginny is in a coma. Which odd folk will be charged with finding them, and just what does the Wizarding Mafia have to do with it?

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Author's Note: Chapter lengths are kept short so that I can update as regularly as possible. I have very little spare time and prefer to get the chapters done in one sitting. I will, however, attempt to lengthen them. Also, I'm lazy. Genre has been changed from Parody to Suspense, because I felt Parody didn't quite fit, and there's no appropriate genre for "Twisted".

Chapter Nine

The tent was the dictionary definition of twisted Gothic architecture; the ceilings were high, a culmination of pointed arches, ribbed vaults and unending pillars. So dark and gritty it was though, that there was no doubt it belonged to Severus Snape. That was the inside, of course. The outside showed a simple dome tent, to fit perhaps four, or at a squeeze, five. There were five of them now, and they could sleep well away from each other, if they so desired.

'This is some Undetectable Extension Charm,' muttered Tonks, looking upwards at the high torch brackets, which illuminated the tent to some degree. She squinted at the torch brackets. 'Is that Gubraithian fire?'

Snape did not answer; he had just set foot in the tent, and immediately stalked off in the opposite direction to everyone else. Evidently, he did not seem happy about sharing a tent with his companions, or so Tonks thought.

Obviously, they couldn't run headfirst into the nearest Wizarding Mafia outpost, claiming to be interested in the shadier side of life. Careful planning was required, beyond "we'll do it on Saturday."

Sirius looked at Tonks thoughtfully. 'He doesn't seem to happy, does he?' He gestured towards the retreating figure of Snape.

'I'm the one that should be unhappy,' said Tonks, with a mildly disgusted look on her face. 'I actually have to pretend I'm his wife.' She shuddered. It was deemed the best course of action was to set up camp in a muggle camping ground – apparently one that was close to their destination. As Sirius was still a fugitive, even in the muggle world, Dobby had used his considerable talents to make them invisible; while outdoors, at least. That left Tonks - transformed into a tall, middle-aged woman with blonde hair – as Snape's "wife", and Luna, their "daughter". On a camping trip.

Now indoors, Tonks had transformed back. She did not want to be stuck in the form that she had associated with marriage to Snape. Despite the transformations, she was still wearing the clothes she had put on three days previously. They were blood stained – a talking point in the muggle world, apparently – and would need to be replaced or cleaned. No time for replacement.

'_Tergeo_.' Most of the blood siphoned itself off, but there were a few lingering stains. 'Good enough, I suppose.' The two cousins sat on a couch next to each other, across from Snape. Luna sat cross-legged on the rug next to the flickering fireplace – _Gubraithian again_, thought Tonks – and began reading an issue of _The Quibbler_ that she had stashed in the pocket of her luminescent robes.

It had been decided by popular vote – Snape the dissenting – that there was no real point in excluding the girl from their conversations. Dobby was not forbidden from the proceedings, but he apparently much preferred the nigh impossible act of sterilising the tent.

Apparently, Tonks looked a little nervous, for Snape said, with a slight hint of denigration, 'You needn't worry. I have ensured we are protected from intrusion.'

'I would've thought your house was protected from intrusion, too.' Sirius spoke back, somewhat harshly. He was quick to defend his cousin's daughter lately; their recent brushes with death only served to strengthen their friendship.

'It would have been, had _Nymphadora_ not sent a Patronus.'

'She doesn't like being called Nymphadora.' Luna spoke quietly, and for all that softness, the unexpected sound of her voice made Tonks jump, almost knocking over the small table in front of her.

Snape ignored Luna's comment, but continued to throw harsh observations towards the two Black descendants before him. 'Your future actions will have to be much more careful, lest you wish to reveal yourselves before we find what we are looking for. I would expect nothing more from either of you.'

'I think he's just upset that he's not allowed to go alone.' Again, Luna's voice startled Tonks, and this time she did knock the table over, shattering its leg.

'_Reparo_.' She was not in the mood for non-verbal spells – they tended to open the mind to an extent, and that was not something one wanted to do with a Legilimens sitting right in front of them. Unfortunately, the table's state of repair was short-lived. A flash of fire cut the tension; Tonks lashed out with her wand, instinctively blowing up the table. A single piece of parchment fell to the floor, accompanied by a golden phoenix feather.

'Fawkes,' breathed Snape. Ignoring the blatant table damage, Snape retrieved the parchment. His eyes narrowed as they transcended the page. He handed it wordlessly to Sirius. Tonks leaned forwards to read it. The note was fairly short, and to the point:

_Stay in your present location for now, I will update with further orders. Ginny Weasley has awakened, and mentions a man named "Pellinore", but nothing else. Wait for my next communiqué._

The note was not signed, but there was really no doubt as to who had sent it. For now, Dumbledore wanted them to hold their position. None of the three adults could feel more frustrated if they tried.

A/N: As you can see, everything is perfectly planned out, and every plot twist will be foreshadowed. As a further note, reviews detailing your thoughts on my progress would be much appreciated.


	12. Chapter Ten

Summary: Harry, Ron and Hermione are missing. Two evil factions are growing stronger. Seven individuals are brought together in these dire circumstances, and together they walk the downward spiral to insanity.

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Author's Note: Chapter lengths are kept short so that I can update as regularly as possible. I have very little spare time and prefer to get the chapters done in one sitting. I will, however, attempt to lengthen them. Also, I'm lazy. Genre has been changed from Parody to Suspense, because I felt Parody didn't quite fit, and there's no appropriate genre for "Twisted".

Chapter Ten

Tonks rather enjoyed walking through the muggle town; it was a different atmosphere to Hogsmeade, or Diagon Alley. The shops here were more diverse, with pubs and supermarkets sharing the same back wall. Unfortunately, today the pub was out of the question, though she would pick up some muggle alcohol for Sirius to try. He had mentioned he was getting sick of Snape's limited supply of intoxicating substances – at least, intoxicating substances that wouldn't kill the drinker with the first sip. Snape's wide range of poisons would sooner kill than inebriate.

It was the supermarket though, that she was here for. The tent was well stocked with provisions that exterminated, but provisions that kept one alive were running remarkably low. Then there was the matter of clothes. Neither she nor Sirius had brought anything substantial with them, bar their wits and their wands, and even the wits part was questionable.

She hadn't picked up _too_ much – enough to last them a week, as long as Sirius didn't pig out. They'd be roughing it for a while, because Tonks only had a limited amount of muggle money. She'd kept it in her money pouch, at the behest of Mad-Eye Moody. "Constant Vigilance", he'd growl, and remind her that there was always the possibility of having to lie low in Muggletown. Or Timbuktu. Or Australia. As a matter of fact, she had several currencies in the money pouch – all for those "just in case" circumstances. Undetectable Extension Charms and Featherweight Charms were so unbelievably useful at times.

Tonks fumbled with the change given to her; after more than twenty years of using Galleons, Sickles and Knuts, something new was just confusing. She lugged her purchases rather awkwardly out of the store. With her track record, she was lucky not to trip and smash the bottle of scotch whiskey she had purchased. It was the closest thing to Firewhisky she could find, and probably felt just as bad in the morning. And then, Tonks almost dropped the bags anyway, but it was not out of clumsiness.

She had just seen Narcissa Malfoy.

This family reunion would have been no less pleasant than that with Bellatrix Lestrange. Tonks cringed at the thought of it. "Why hello, Aunt Narcissa. Yes, it's a lovely morning. Might I ask why you're hiding out in a back alley in a muggle town? Meeting someone? Makes perfect sense, really..." And then there was that other problem. In an attempt to disguise herself as a close approximation of Luna's mother, Tonks had concentrated on the image of the one blonde she knew. If there was anyone meeting Narcissa Malfoy today, they might get an odd shock seeing two of them. There would be no doubt which was the real one; Tonks was wearing her faded, patched jeans, a black t-shirt, and an oddly shaped jacket that Snape had provided to hide her wand. Narcissa – the _real_ Narcissa – was dressed much more elegantly, in a slimming black dress, a fur-lined coat, and black heeled boots. Some passersby were giving her odd looks – _A fur-lined coat in July??_

'Miss Malfoy?' Tonks jumped; whilst looking nervously in the direction of her aunt, the person her aunt had been waiting for had obviously arrived, and then, evidently, made a huge mistake.

'I...yes. Narcissa Malfoy. I'd shake your hand, but...' she shrugged helplessly, both hands full.

'Didn't know you shopped at muggle stores.' He gave her a funny look. 'Awfully strange for a pureblood.'

'Well obviously I didn't want to attract attention. This town...filthy, destitute.' Tonks spoke in a scathing tone that she felt was rather reminiscent of Narcissa.

The man nodded. 'Pell said you were born with a silver spoon up yer arse, but I didn't know it was this bad.' Tonks tried her best to look affronted.

'Listen, Mr...'

'Frick. Oedipus Frick.'

'Frick. Can we take this elsewhere? I do not wish to discuss things so...openly.'

'As you wish.' He bowed, and pointed in the direction of a white van that might very well have driven through a swamp.

'Ugh,' spat Tonks, not quite genuinely disgusted. She'd been in far worse places, Severus Snape's house being one of them. She put her groceries at her feet, and made a wizard-like attempt to buckle her seatbelt. She knew very well how to buckle a seatbelt, having crashed her father's car at the age of fourteen. Still, it was best to look like the naive pureblood she was suddenly pretending to be.

''ere.' Oedipus brushed a hand across her chest as he helped her buckle it in. 'Sorry 'bout that.'

Oedipus began to drive, though it was in no particular direction. The most important thing was he was driving away.

'So what does Lord Voldy-Whatsit want with the Wizarding Mafia?' asked Oedipus.

Tonks stared straight ahead, as though she'd just been put under the Full-Body-Bind. She recalled some of Oedipus's earlier words – "Pell said you were born with a silver spoon up yer arse, but I didn't know it was this bad." Pell – it could have been short for Pellinore, the name Ginny had mentioned. And if it was short for Pellinore, then speaking to Oedipus would be the best chance she had of finding Harry, Ron and Hermione. It was the strangest of luck, but she thought she might've found herself right where she wanted to be.


	13. Chapter Eleven

Summary: Harry, Ron and Hermione are missing. Two evil factions are growing stronger. Seven individuals are brought together in these dire circumstances, and together they walk the downward spiral to insanity.

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Author's Note: Chapter lengths are kept short so that I can update as regularly as possible. I have very little spare time and prefer to get the chapters done in one sitting. I will, however, attempt to lengthen them. Also, I'm lazy. Genre has been changed from Parody to Suspense, because I felt Parody didn't quite fit, and there's no appropriate genre for "Twisted".

Chapter Eleven

Tonks twiddled her thumbs nervously. She wasn't quite sure how to answer the question that Oedipus posed her. In fact, she felt like saying "That's a fantastic question. What _does_ Lord Voldemort want with the Wizarding Mafia?" Of course, that question would probably blow any cover she could hope to have. Instead, she tried a different approach.

'Surely Pellinore has told you?'

'Yeah, he 'as, but I'd like to hear it from those luscious lips of yers.'

Finally, some luck; she let out a silent breath, hoping that Oedipus hadn't seen. 'Well, I'm not going to repeat myself for the likes of a chauvinistic pig.' She knew she had captured Narcissa's essence appropriately, as Oedipus looked at her nervously. Obviously, this _Pellinore_ had described the Matriarch Malfoy in rather vivid detail.

'Right then,' he chuckled, still with a hint of anxiety in his voice. 'If Mr. Voldemort's in'erested in joining forces, then what's 'e prepared to give us?'

Tonks almost choked on her faux Narcissa smile. The Death Eaters and the Wizarding Mafia _join forces_? Things were getting worse by the second.

'Our protection, naturally,' said Tonks swiftly.

'And what do you want from us?'

Tonks had absolutely no misconceptions on this point. 'Mr. Potter, of course.' She looked down at her fingernails before adding carelessly, 'Oh, and his friends, I suppose; that blood traitor Weasley, and the filthy Mudblood.' The words felt like poison on the end of her tongue. Calling people things like that wasn't very nice at all.

Oedipus laughed, apparently expecting this. 'I can't do that. We need 'em.'

'Whatever for?'

'Now then, Mrs. Malfoy. No offence meant, but that ain't none of yer business. I's private, that is.'

'Well I suppose if you're willing to be slaughtered...' Tonks began.

'No, no, no, miss, that ain't what I meant. What I mean – or, I reckon, what I was told to say is that you lot can have 'im, but once we've finished with 'im. We need 'im to fetch this prophecy for us. One of 'em, anyway. And from what Pell tells me, you lot are after a prophecy too. I reckon we could work something with that.'

'Yes, you're quite right.' Tonks's throat felt dry – she wasn't sure how she was going to back out of this one. Gathering information was fine, but someone would probably figure something out when it came to the next meeting. 'I shall have to consult with the Dark Lord.'

'That's fair enough. With our forces combined, I reckon we can force ourselves through to the Department o' Mysteries, no trouble.'

Tonks nodded, she drifted off, thinking of what she'd have to tell the Order, before she noticed that Oedipus hadn't finished talking.

''course, there's the other prophecy we gotta get. Pell's sortin' that out. Sommat to do with the Magnificent Seven, 'e says. Now me, I got no clue who these Magnificent Seven could be, but our source. Some Unspeakable bloke, 'e says that they got names underneaf that. Well...Initials at least. But one of 'em. Initials N.T, they are. Pell reckons their that Auror who's all round looking for Mr. Potter. Damn nuisance she is. Pell's been looking everywhere for 'er – can't find her since they left that idjit Snape's place – that's why Pell's not here – and you won't believe it, though – they got those initial S.S on it too. Sev'rus Snape, yer think, ey?' Tonks couldn't believe her luck. Of all the members of the Wizarding Mafia she could speak to, she got the most loose-lipped gossipmonger in the whole organization. And prophecies with her initials on it? That was just plain weird.

'Very well. I will consult with the Dark Lord – I shall contact you with the details of our next meeting.' Oedipus nodded, putting his foot down on the brakes.

'You alright to git out 'ere?' he asked.

Tonks looked down the street to see that they were only a few hundred yards from the supermarket – Oedipus had driven in a circle. 'Of course. Remind me again, where I might find your Headquarters in this town?'

Oedipus angled his head, but his hesitation was only momentary. 'Well, seeing as how you can't possibly be an imposter...' he said, scrawling directions on a small scrap of paper.

'I'll see you 'round, Missus Malfoy.' He nodded at her, in an attempt at respectfulness. With his uneven haircut, and ruddy complexion, he almost looked like a twisted version of Mad-Eye Moody, though with less intelligence, and probably better hygiene.

Tonks got out of the car hurriedly, picking up the shopping bags. She almost ran towards a nearby public toilet; if her aunt was still around, she sure as hell didn't want to get caught looking like her. It was then that she felt a stunning blow to the back of the head. Dropping the shopping bags, she fell backwards into a brick wall.

Narcissa Malfoy – the _real_ Narcissa Malfoy – held a wand at her throat. She was clearly not amused.


	14. Chapter Twelve

Summary: Harry, Ron and Hermione are missing. Two evil factions are growing stronger. Seven individuals are brought together in these dire circumstances, and together they walk the downward spiral to insanity.

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Disclaimer: (I guess I should probably include this) Harry Potter and all related characters property of J.K. Rowling.

Chapter Twelve

Tonks peered down at Narcissa Malfoy's wand. It was resting against her larynx, threatening to release a lethal bolt of magic if she so much as moved.

'Who are you?' Narcissa spoke with pure contempt lacing her words; Tonks, despite the situation, was glad to see that she'd gotten her Aunt's character traits down to a T.

Tonks did not answer. Though backed against a wall, her only weapon out of reach, she had not been the only Auror intake in ten years just because she could change her hair pretty colours.

'Who are-' Narcissa tried the question again, this time with a more forceful inflection. Before she could complete the sentence, though, Tonks's head smashed into hers. She fell back, dazed, her fur garrison cap toppling to the ground in the process.

Tonks drew her wand, barely wary of the Statute of Secrecy. In any case, the muggles passing by thought they were in witness of a stunt – for charity or the like. They threw spare change in the idle hat that lay on the sidewalk, careful to avoid the wayward jets of light. At long last, Narcissa looked upwards at her niece, blood trailing from her nose. She was not, however, troubled in any way. In fact, she looked as though something had gone her way for once.

'Nymphadora. You haven't quite managed to hold your appearance in battle, I see.' Tonks looked at a strand of hair to see that she had just turned her hair a rather revolting shade of orange.

'At least I can hold my own,' Tonks replied coolly.

'Yes, an Auror I hear. That will prove useful.' Narcissa gave a knowing smile.

'What do you know? Tell me Narcissa, or I swear you'll see Black blood running through my veins.' Tonks lifted her wand threateningly, and for a second, she had every intention of following through on her promise.

'Not here.' Narcissa cast a malevolent look at passing muggles, who were curious to see the identical women pointing bits of wood at each other. Tonks hesitated, and then and there decided that she would have to take Narcissa back to the tent. If what she provided wasn't useful, Snape could always wipe her memory.

'Get up.' Narcissa obeyed, wordlessly. 'Wand,' motioned Tonks. Instead of lashing out unexpectedly, which _was _expected, Narcissa handed over her wand. For what felt like the hundredth time today, Tonks picked up her shopping, though she held it in her left hand only. Her right hand held her concealed wand, ready in case of attack or escape.

'I won't run,' Narcissa assured her niece, in a voice where Tonks couldn't distinguish truth from lie, Auror or no.

At this time of day, the camping ground was awash with laughing children, unaware of the darkness that was slowly spreading itself across the world. In a year, maybe less, their corpses would be rotting in mass graves, victims of the Dark Lord's will. Tonks looked at them with the laughter gone from her eyes, replaced with sadness; an expression reserved for the most troubled of times. At the front of the tent, Snape stood, looking rather strange in an assortment of ill-fitting muggle clothes. His dark mane of greasy hair was pulled with a leather thong. From his exasperated look, Tonks gathered he was attempting to escape from those inside. Regardless of the oddity that approached him, his demeanour did not change. He re-entered the tent, leaving the flap open behind him.

A/N: I know this one was a little short, but I could not for the life of me make it longer without making the cut-off point seem stupid.


	15. Chapter Thirteen

Summary: Harry, Ron and Hermione are missing. Two evil factions are growing stronger. Seven individuals are brought together in these dire circumstances, and together they walk the downward spiral to insanity.

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Disclaimer: (I guess I should probably include this) Harry Potter and all related characters property of J.K. Rowling.

Chapter Thirteen

Sirius was, understandably, a little more shocked at the sudden appearance of his second least favourite cousin. He shot Tonks a look that was an amalgamation of surprise and annoyance.

'Bumped into her,' Tonks muttered evasively. Sirius's mood was lightened considerably by the presentation of the bottle of scotch. Despite the triumvirate of bad droppings, the bottle was completely intact. Sirius waved his wand almost carelessly, conjuring four glasses.

Snape took his own glass, eying its rather substantial volume. 'Sirius,' he said testily, using the ex-convict's given name for the first time. 'You are aware that this alcohol is rather more volatile than Firewhisky? Muggles, though as ignorant as they come, are not averse towards futile self-impairment.'

Sirius shrugged, and poured a rather substantial amount of alcohol into his own glass. Taking a hefty swig, he swallowed directly, if only to avoid the jeers of his old enemy. He emerged from the glass, coughing.

Tonks was surprised to see Snape throw an amused glance in her direction. It suddenly made sense; the house in a muggle town, the muggle clothes, the knowledge of muggle alcohol – Snape was not as pure-blood as he had led them to believe. Not wanting to express this hypothesis, Tonks said nothing and returned what could only be called a smile.

Down by the fireplace, Luna and Dobby looked on with interest. They had been engaging in a game of wizard's chess, but had abandoned the game at the arrival of Narcissa. Clearly wanting to fit in, the chess pieces were also looking up at the scene, a knight midway through brutal strangulation of a pawn. While Dobby made no outward gestures to his old mistress, every few seconds he twitched, as though wanting to pull himself away and bow low.

'So what did you want to tell us, Narcissa?' Tonks threw herself down on the couch, reverting to her normal appearance as she went. The "one hell of a week" was turning very ninth-circlish.

'Can I assume that the four of you are on the hunt for Harry Potter and his friends?' she directed the question at no-one in particular, though she had looked at each of them in turn, her eyes drifting over Dobby in ignorance.

'The five of us,' corrected Luna, shooting Dobby a smile. 'He's no less of an individual than you or I.' At these words, Dobby burst into tears, and, to everyone's surprise, gave Luna a hug.

'Only the greatest, most noble witches and wizards treat Dobby as such, Luna Lovegood. If ever you need anything from Dobby, you must only ask.' Luna was less surprised than the others, and returned the hug appreciatively.

Narcissa took a deep breath. 'I know only what I have been told by the Dark Lord and Pellinore. Recently the Dark Lord learned of Harry Potter's disappearance. He did not know who had taken the boy, or why. Then you, Severus, were instructed to find the boy, even if it meant collaborating with the Order of the Phoenix.' She gave Snape a nod, and a slightly scathing look towards Tonks and Sirius. 'The day before yesterday, I was approached by a man named Pellinore. I don't know how he knew who I was, or where I would be. He told me he was with the Wizarding Mafia, and he was willing to make a deal with the Dark Lord. I asked him why the Dark Lord would want to make a deal with him. He informed me that, firstly, he was in possession of Harry Potter, and secondly, he was willing to fight with the Dark Lord in his war. I relayed this information to the Dark Lord, who ordered me to make contact again. I am quite willing to keep up the charade of following the Dark Lord's orders, but in actuality, I wish to defect.'

'_Defect_?' asked Sirius in shock. 'Why now? Why not fourteen years ago?'

'Since the Dark Lord's return, he has been treating those who follow him with carelessness. I'm sure it's because of the fact that we did not sacrifice our freedom for his cause. No longer will he protect us. I'm afraid for my husband and son's safety. As the only true antagonists of the Dark Lord, I feel that you can give it to me. In return I will help you rescue Potter; only I have that link between the Wizarding Mafia and the Dark Lord. While Nymphadora may have unique talents, the Dark Lord is more powerful than you can possibly imagine.'

'I think you're giving the Auror Office less credit than they're due, Narcissa.' Once again, amazement fused itself to the air. It was not Tonks that spoke, but Snape.

'Nonetheless.' Narcissa's eyebrows were raised. 'I think it would be more beneficial if I remained. You may, of course, ask permission from your master, as I must do at every appropriate occasion. I will remain here.'

Tonks looked at Sirius, more concerned with his judgement than anyone else's. 'Go,' he said. 'Take Snape, I'm sure there're some messages he needs to pass on. I'll stay here and keep an eye on my dear cousin.'

'Ok,' agreed Tonks, and Snape too nodded. 'I'm keeping this though.' She held up Narcissa's wand.

'If we are gone for more than a few hours, assume we have stayed the night. If we are gone for more than a few days, assume we are dead.'

'Stop being such an optimist, Snape.' Tonks drank he whisky in one gulp, and then apparated on the spot. She was followed shortly by Snape, leaving Sirius, Narcissa, Luna and Dobby in an uncomfortable silence.


	16. Chapter Fourteen

Summary: Harry, Ron and Hermione are missing. Two evil factions are growing stronger. Seven individuals are brought together in these dire circumstances, and together they walk the downward spiral to insanity.

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Disclaimer: (I guess I should probably include this) Harry Potter and all related characters property of J.K. Rowling.

Chapter Fourteen

As luck would have it, the entire Order of the Phoenix was assembled at Grimmauld Place for a meeting. If Tonks had been in the right mind, she would have realised that it had absolutely nothing to do with luck, and it was in fact, the second Sunday of the month – the appointed day for meetings. As if Dumbledore had expected them, there were two empty seats; one next to the crackling fire, and one right by the door. Snape took the seat near the door, and Tonks was wary of eyes following her as she walked the short distance to the second seat. Though several people were quite clearly bursting to say it, Mundungus Fletcher evidently had the most guts.

'Blimey, Tonks. Y'look like shit.' Mundungus's poncho was stained with the stench of tobacco, and, if Tonks was not mistaken, more potent substances, his hair was a dishevelled mop of dirty ginger – distinctly different from the vivid tresses of the Weasley clan. That said, it felt rather hypocritical for Mundungus to accuse Tonks of looking below standard.

'You're one to talk, 'Dung,' she muttered, wanting nothing more than to put head on her arms and fall asleep.

'When was the last time you slept?' asked Remus, who was sitting to her left.

She shrugged. 'Can't have been more than a few days. Four at the most.'

'What have you found?' asked Molly, clearly torn between fear for her son, and wanting to clean Tonks up, feed her a bit, and then send her to bed. Tonks had had enough of that kind of treatment from her mother, but right now, would have almost welcomed it.

The long tale of discoveries so far belied the short period they had been investigating. If it weren't for the high level of twisted coincidences, Tonks was sure that they would be sitting her, scratching their heads. Dumbledore did not seem surprised by any of the revelations of Voldemort's plans, nor of the desires of alliance. He did seem surprised, though, at the prospect of more prophecies, and said so. Several pairs of eyes looked back at him in disbelief – _more_ prophecies?

'What's the other prophecy, then?' asked McGonagall, who did not seem to be phased by the fact that there were things that Albus Dumbledore did not tell them. And when they heard the details of the known prophecy, who could blame them.

'Is this what we've been guarding at the Ministry, then?' asked Mad-Eye Moody in a gruff tone. Usually, Moody did not stand to be left out of anything, but apparently, like everyone else, he held the utmost trust in Dumbledore.

'Yes.' Everyone let out a sigh, some relief at finally discovering at least a portion of the truth, some exasperation at the inherent finality of the prophecy.

'If we don't find Harry, then what does that mean for the prophecy?' Kingsley Shacklebolt voiced a question that was on everyone's lips. 'Is there a timeline for this?'

'It could happen at any time, which is why finding Harry is of the greatest importance. Before he finds his way into Voldemort's hands.' Dumbledore gracefully ignored the numerous twitches that accompanied the use of the name. Bill Weasley, though, was unfazed.

'Why bother getting the prophecy then? Why not just kill Harry and be done with it?'

'By nature, Voldemort is a curious man. He seeks not that which will make his life whole, but that which will make his life unending.' There were several nods around the room, as if these people were familiar with the character type. 'He does not wish to attempt to kill Harry until his knowledge of the prophecy is complete. In the graveyard, he acted rashly, and evidently feels his knowledge of the prophecy will enable him to dispose of Harry Potter once and for all.'

'You said "until his knowledge of the prophecy is complete." Does that mean he already knows some of it?'

'Yes.' It was Snape that spoke, but he did not elaborate. Nor did Dumbledore.

'Do you think it's worthwhile to try and see the contents of the other prophecies? I mean, the ones the Wizarding Mafia are after?' asked Tonks, rubbing her eyelids.

'Would you be able to receive permission for such an act?' enquired Dumbledore. 'The Department of Mysteries is rather eponymous, and no-one really seems to be in the mood to trust anything related to Harry Potter.'

'Worth a shot to ask, though, isn't it?'

'It is,' agreed Dumbledore. 'Enough chit-chat, though. Molly has prepared what my olfactory glands determine to be a marvellous feast. Severus, Nymphadora, you will stay, of course?' Both answered in the affirmative, Tonks because she hadn't eaten in two days, and Snape because he would have rather eat with the Order than spend an extended period of time with Sirius. At one point, half way through her second serving, Tonks fell asleep, slamming face first into her chicken and vegetable pie. Moody looked over with interest.

'Who slipped her the Sleeping Draught?' he asked.

'I did.' Kingsley had evidently been concerned with his colleague's well-being, and had, not a moment ago, poured a small vial of the potion into her Firewhisky, which she had evidently been drinking with gusto.

'You carry Sleeping Draught around with you?' enquired Fred Weasley with an eyebrow raised.

'Never know when it might come in handy.'

'Still. I'm disappointed in her,' Moody said thoughtfully. 'Three years of training, and she doesn't notice when the man next to her slips something funny in her drink. Constant vigilance!' He thumped his fist on the table, sending potato and peas flying.

Snape took a sip from his own glass, which was devoid of potions. It looked as though he would be staying the night.


	17. Chapter Fifteen

Summary: Harry, Ron and Hermione are missing. Two evil factions are growing stronger. Seven individuals are brought together in these dire circumstances, and together they walk the downward spiral to insanity.

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Disclaimer: (I guess I should probably include this) Harry Potter and all related characters property of J.K. Rowling.

Chapter Fifteen

The lunch-time atmosphere at Grimmauld Place was tense. The Sleeping Draught had worn off after only a few hours, but Tonks had still managed to miss breakfast. Most Order members had gone home the previous night, either after the meeting, or after dinner. Left now were only those that had assumed permanent residence. Snape was sitting idly in a corner, waiting for her to rise so they could leave.

'We best be going then,' Tonks attempted to bid farewell, but was warded off by Molly.

'Nonsense, dear. You must stay for lunch. Goodness knows we need a little cheer around here.' Tonks cracked a small smile at that, and looked at Snape ruefully.

'You go,' she told him. 'There're a few things I need to discuss with Molly. I'll be fine,' she added as Snape opened his mouth to argue. He shrugged, and disapparated almost immediately.

Tonks slumped into the hard-backed chair she had sat in the night previously, grabbing a couple of sandwiches off of the plate provided.

'What was it you wanted to discuss, dear?'

'Nothing. Just want to get away from Snape before I curse his ears off.'

Molly looked as though she disapproved of cursing Snape's ears off, but for once, did not try to interfere.

'Still,' Tonks continued. 'He's a fair bit better than he used to be. Less snide remarks and the like. Who knows – a few more days and he might start doing some St. Mungo's charity work.' Sensing Molly's lack of interest on the topic of Snape, Tonks quickly changed the subject.

'Who was it that felt the need to test my poison-sensing abilities? I'm betting it was Kingsley, but I wouldn't put it past Mad-Eye.'

'Yes, it was Kingsley. And rightly so – he was concerned about you.'

'I'm not the only one people should be concerned about. This situation is tough on everyone.' Tonks took a bite of the chicken and salad sandwich; her throat was so dry she had to force herself to swallow it.

'Have you looked in the mirror at all lately, Tonks?' Tonks had to admit that she had not. It was so much easier in the mornings to think about how she wanted to look, and then look that way. Certainly, it saved money on grooming products. And then it struck her; she had awoken upstairs, in Regulus's old room – she had to have gotten up there somehow.

'Pardon?' Molly feigned having misheard Tonks's request for information. 'Oh...it was Remus. And,' at this point, she gave Tonks a knowing look, 'he slept Sirius's room.'

Tonks looked down at her clothes to reassure herself that they were indeed what she had been wearing yesterday. A few seats down, Remus mistook the look for something other than relief.

'I think you left some clothes here last time,' he said softly. 'I'll see if I can go find them.'

_So that's where my other jeans got to_, mused Tonks. She thought she had lost them, or that her mother had thrown them out on her last monthly clean-up. Though her daughter was now twenty-two, Andromeda Tonks still felt the need to come by and assist with cleaning. Though Tonks would never admit it to Andromeda, the help was much needed.

Molly gave her a wink at the sound of Remus's footsteps descending the staircase. He was carrying the lost jeans, a bright purple Weird Sisters t-shirt, and a pair of scuffed black Doc Martens that she thought she'd lost chasing after Docarus. He put them down on the table, next to the unfinished plate of sandwiches. In his left hand, Tonks just noticed, was a black leather satchel.

'Take some food with you,' he urged. Tonks looked over hesitantly at Molly. She had apparently not heard a thing that Remus had said, and was already vehemently packing paper bags with sandwiches and pasties.

'When you see Dumbledore next, tell him I'm going to go see Scrimgeour at the nearest available opportunity. I'll tell him the truth, but leave out all the extra players. Should keep him happy. I'll do my best to get dates for any attacks on the Ministry, but he'd probably do best to double the guard; if they show up, they'll probably be bringing Harry with them. And Ron,' she added hastily to Molly, who jerked upwards from the sandwich bag at the sound of Harry's name.

'The guard's already been doubled. Dumbledore mentioned it last night while you were asleep. Trust him to do what's right.' Remus smiled at her, though it was fraught with fatigue and worry. 'If you need anything, we won't be going anywhere. Right, Molly?'

Molly burst into bottled up tears, and threw her arms around Tonks. 'Please. Please find my son,' she sobbed.

Tonks gently pried the older woman's arms from around her. 'I have to go now,' she whispered softly. 'I will do anything to help find your son, Molly, remember that. Give Ginny a hug for me.' The youngest Weasley was upstairs resting, apparently, and had been since she had awoken. It was a poor excuse for grieving, Tonks thought, but who could blame her. Giving Molly and Remus a smile, Tonks clutched the black satchel, full with old clothes and paper bags, and disapparated on the spot.

She apparated to the back alley in which she had seen Narcissa just yesterday. It wasn't too far from the camping ground, and she needed the stroll, though she walked it with her eyes to the ground. It seemed as though the town was awash with coldness – strange for the summer. Autumn must have been coming around quicker than usual. It was strange then, that unlike yesterday, there were no children roaming. It was as though they had felt the sudden bleakness of the atmosphere, and retreated indoors, where there was undoubtedly better insulation.

An unnoticed protrusion in the concrete path caused Tonks to trip to the ground unceremoniously. One would have thought that after so many years of tripping, she could have found a better way to fall, but it was always one of two ways; a blatant backwards, or face-flat. This trip was of the backwards variety – the protrusion was that substantial. Face to the sky, Tonks noticed something that should have been blindingly obvious. Something she would have noticed before had she not been staring at the footpath.

Dementors.

Hundreds and hundreds of Dementors, converging on the camping ground. That explained the coldness, and the sadness that clung to the air. It took a great deal more effort than usual to pull out her wand, and yell, '_EXPECTO PATRONUM_.'


	18. Chapter Sixteen

Summary: Tonks, Sirius, Snape, Narcissa, Luna, Dobby and Bob the Dementor must save the Wizarding World one evil faction at a time. Together, they walk the downward spiral to insanity.

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Disclaimer: (I guess I should probably include this) Harry Potter and all related characters property of J.K. Rowling.

Chapter Sixteen

"Awkward" was the only word that could be used to describe the silence that befell the tent of Severus Snape: Snape and Sirius had been the bitterest of enemies since their school days; Snape and Narcissa's contact was limited to Death Eater meetings, and Sirius and Narcissa were partaking in the long-standing Black family feud. The only noise came from Luna and Dobby who – getting on famously – were attempting to rid the tent of Nargles. With such silence, it was quite hard to miss the sudden shout of "EXPECTO PATRONUM!" from outside.

'Dementors!' Sirius felt hard-pressed to hide the eagerness in his voice; he was always ready for action, even if it meant battling dark wizards to help find his Godson, or, in this case, repelling Dementors to save his cousin. Following Sirius with their wands drawn were a slightly less enthusiastic Snape and Narcissa. Luna and Dobby were completely oblivious, still discussing the best method of deNargleifying a rather sorry looking house plant. Luna was convinced that and infusion of Gurdyroots would flush them out, while Dobby seemed quite adamant on burning the plant.

Outside, there was no doubting the presence of Dementors. The air was both dark and dank, populated with a swarm of ethereal creatures in hooded robes.

'About bloody time you lot showed up!' yelled Tonks furiously, flat on her back and wand in the air. Her silver Patronus was herding Dementors but was dismally outnumbered, the reason for which she had thought minutes had passed, rather than seconds. Even the shortest time spent with Dementors could feel like years.

'Well I was planning on having another cup of tea, but I thought that a missing soul might have slowed your mission down somewhat. _EXPECTO PATRONUM!_' Sirius was grinning as a massive Grim-like dog burst from the end of his wand. Behind him, Snape was giving Narcissa a hurried explanation on how to conjure a Patronus. Sirius gave a harsh laugh, which was not unlike a bark; as if this was the time to be teaching magic. Seconds later, there were three rather powerful Patronuses, along with a silvery blur that resembled a panther. They were doing remarkably well in deterring the Dementors – several seemed to have second thoughts about coming closer to the camping ground and were departing with great speed. In an almost fate-like manner, the three corporeal Patronuses leapt at the same Dementor in the same second – it was shot backwards by the sheer force of strong emotion. At this, the rest of the Dementors seemed to back off, persuaded in part by the still powerful silver mammals.

Tonks pulled herself off the ground, looking a little worse for wear. 'Blasted footpath,' she muttered, though neither Sirius, Snape nor Narcissa had any idea what she was talking about.

'You alright?' asked Sirius.

'Fine. Had much worse than this when Moody was trying to teach me the Patronus. Two hundred of them, and me, silenced and blindfolded.'

'There's still one left,' pointed out Narcissa, indicating a Dementor that floated in a daze. It was the Dementor that had been struck by all three Patronuses at once – all that happiness was having an unforeseen effect.

'We can't just leave it here,' said Tonks, though she was fresh out of ideas on what they could do with it.

'It's not that dangerous,' argued Sirius. 'Looks Confunded, almost, and it's not like the muggles can see it.'

'It might not be permanent, though.'

'So what, you think we should just take it into the tent with us? Pour it a drink, ask it its life story? Proper Dementor or not, remember I spent twelve years in Azkaban with those bastards watching over my back, Nymphadora.' Angered enough to use his cousin's dreaded given name, Sirius fumed off in the direction of the tent, adding a half-hearted, 'Whatever. I don't care what you do.' Surprisingly enough, the Dementor followed him.

Tonks raised an eyebrow. It appeared as though their buoyant buddy had made the decision for them. 'Be careful,' she warned. 'Could be a trap.' Moody's influence was paying off after all.

Inside, Luna was delighted at the appearance of a new play-friend. She christened him "Bob the Dementor", and promptly asked his – for it was now, apparently, a he – opinion on the best way of removing Nargles from infested flora. Bob gave no discernable answer, but the tent's occupants briefly felt a wind of contentment.

Tonks smiled, and felt the strangest desire for one of Molly's sandwiches. She opened the satchel, which remained shut during the Dementor encounter. Her smile widened, as she found a large bar of chocolate resting upon the other contents. A note was taped to it: in Remus's handwriting, it read: _Don't be hesitant about it_.

A/N: Updates might be a little slower in the next few weeks – I've got two exams next week, plus a few assignments. Also, in a real Tonks moment, I tripped over my bag and landed flat on my face. That was fun. Interlude II is coming up next.


	19. Interlude II

Summary: Tonks, Sirius, Snape, Narcissa, Luna, Dobby and Bob the Dementor must save the Wizarding World one evil faction at a time. Together, they walk the downward spiral to insanity.

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Disclaimer: (I guess I should probably include this) Harry Potter and all related characters property of J.K. Rowling.

Interlude II

Pellinore was treating the Golden Trio with much more respect than Oedipus did. True, they were still captives, but their bonds had been cut, their wounds healed, and their stomachs filled. Pellinore was an advocate of looking for the snitch instead of using the bludgers, so to speak.

'I hope Oedipus didn't torture you too badly,' said Pellinore, in a tone of faux nervousness.

'Oh, yeah, we're right as rain,' muttered Ron darkly, 'It was just a few dozen flogs, nothing serious, really.'

His sarcasm did not go unnoticed by Hermione; she elbowed him, and he immediately shut his mouth.

'Against my better judgement, I informed Oedipus to persuade you into revealing your knowledge of the prophecy. I see now that his idea of "persuasion" is somewhat drastic; I fear if I had not arrived to stop him, he would have killed you.'

'What, you didn't bother ordering him _not_ to kill us?!' Harry was angry, and rightly so – he didn't want his suffering to be a result of some stupid mistake.

'Oedipus will often ignore orders he feels are unnecessary. This, I believe, is why I have had to keep you here for so long.'

'What do you mean?' Hermione raised an eyebrow in suspicion.

'As you have no idea what prophecy I am talking about, I believe that our best course of action is to go to the source of the prophecies. Unfortunately, I cannot do that until I have retrieved a person to which the second prophecy refers to. There are seven sets of initials listed on the second prophecy – we know who two of them are, and they are apparently together. One, I believe you are acquainted with, Mr. Potter – a Severus Snape.' Harry let out an involuntary shudder. 'I'm not sure if you know the second – an Auror by the name of Nymphadora Tonks.'

'Hey, she went to school with Charlie,' blurted out Ron. 'I met her once too, she's a right nutter. Metamorphmagus, too.'

'What did you say?!' Pellinore looked at him sharply, then whispered curses under his breath. 'Metamorph...why didn't we have this information.' He made a silent promise to hex whoever had pulled the Auror's file.

'What else do you know about her?! Is she in the Order of the Phoenix?'

'What? I don't know, I'm not invited to meeting-' Ron stopped abruptly, all too aware that he may have jeopardised the Order's secrecy.

'What about Snape, he's in the Order? Double agent, or triple agent or something like that?' Pellinore almost went to the lengths of physically shaking Ron, but appeared to restrain himself at the last minute.

'I swear, I don't know.' Ron's high pitched voice all but gave away the fact that he was lying.

'If they are members of the Order, then their protection will have been guaranteed by Dumbledore – they will not be alone.' Pellinore stared into Harry's eyes. There was an odd glint in them – mischievousness, perhaps. 'What is it, Potter?'

'Well I was thinking. I know from your mate Oedipus that you lot are looking to get into Voldemort's good books, and I'm pretty sure he wants me after your done, so why don't you do an exchange? Me for Snape.' Harry hid the uncertainty, wondering if his plan would work. Planting the seed was only the first step.

'You are far too valuable to trade for Severus Snape. I will perhaps try to catch them myself, this time – Merlin knows Oedipus is far too incompetent. Not even his oh so cunning plan seems to be working. I assure you though Potter; if I fail, then I may take you up on that suggestion. After all,' he waved his hand in the direction of Ron and Hermione. 'It is not as if I need you to achieve my ends.'

A/N: So the chapter Research Methods in Psychology was kind of boring, so I did the 2nd interlude. If you enjoyed it, please tell me. If you hated it, also please tell me. Now that all seven characters are in search of the story, things might start to pick up, instead of being random battles and ambushes to recruit members. Thanks for listening to the ramblings.


	20. Chapter Seventeen

Summary: Tonks, Sirius, Snape, Narcissa, Luna, Dobby and Bob the Dementor must save the Wizarding World one evil faction at a time. Together, they walk the downward spiral to insanity.

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Disclaimer: (I guess I should probably include this) Harry Potter and all related characters property of J.K. Rowling.

Chapter Seventeen

'How is the jolly old Order then?' asked Sirius, pouring himself another glass of scotch.

Tonks declined the offer of a drink. 'Not bad, I guess. I think Snape had a longer time talking to them though: Kingsley drugged me halfway through dinner.' At this, Sirius sighed and pulled out a money bag. He flipped a Galleon in Luna's direction.

'And just what was that about?' Tonks raised an eyebrow, but had a feeling she knew very well what it was about.

'She bet me that one of them would drug you. Amazingly perceptive kid, that one. Make a good Auror. That is, if she stopped harping on about Crumpet-Horned Snoracks, or whatever.'

'Crumple-Horned Snorkacks,' corrected Luna dreamily, though she did not seem upset at Sirius's suggestion. It was as though her prolonged exposure to the group was having an effect on her personality. Sirius grunted in reply.

'When's the full moon?' He directed this question at Tonks, who feigned a mild case of ignorance.

'Twelfth I think. Maybe the thirteenth. Not for a fortnight, in any case. He's fine,' she assured Sirius, who was evidently worried he might not be there to help his friend. 'In truth, I think he was more worried about me than I was about him. Still...'

'Sounds like old Moony to me,' Sirius laughed. 'Do you know, in our fifth year, he actually almost apologised to someone that had intentionally tried to trip him up. Of course, moment he'd left, me and James hexed the bu-' he stopped, aware that Luna was listening intently, and finished the tale rather lamely, 'boy.'

'Some werewolves can be incredibly gentle,' said Luna indifferently, as if talking about the weather. 'Especially when calmed with Dirigible Plums.'

Tonks let out a barely concealed laugh. Perhaps they weren't as good an influence as they'd hoped.

'Didn't you have to go see Scrimgeour today?' asked Sirius, who was trying rather diligently to empty the bottle of scotch.

'Yes, Mum.' She went to find something slightly more respectable to wear, which meant borrowing a pair of dress robes from Luna. Why the girl had brought dress robes, Tonks did not know.

'Since when did you care about looking respectable for Scrimgeour?' asked Sirius, as Tonks darkened her hair to disguise the purple.

'Did you want to come with me? Good chance for us to look into this "Rotfang Conspiracy."' Tonks asked Luna, completely ignoring Sirius.

Luna knew that she was being humoured – she also knew the real reason she was to accompany the Auror to the Ministry. She wasn't in Ravenclaw for nothing, after all. 'Yes, alright,' was the only answer she gave, though it was with an aura of distinct wisdom.

'Loopy,' Tonks mouthed at Sirius, who gave a look that was apparently supposed to mean "you're one to talk."

'I'd rather be strange than stupid any day, right Luna?'

'Right. How exactly are we getting to the Ministry of Magic? Thestrals?' she asked hopefully.

'Don't think we'll be seeing any of them around here.'

'Didn't think we'd be seeing any Dementors either, look how that turned out,' grinned Sirius.

'Yes, I suppose I should probably tell Scrimgeour about that. I don't think he'd like it if we had a mass outbreak at Azkaban. Still, we'd get to see Bellatrix. Have a family reunion, maybe. Could invite great-aunt Walburga's portrait – maybe she'd have something useful to say for once.'

Sirius sneered at the mention of his mother, but made no attempt to deny what was essentially fact. 'Going by Floo then?' he added. Tonks gave a brief nod, searching for the pot of fine powder.

'Mantelpiece. Top right,' called Snape, in an uncharacteristically helpful manner. He was rather studiously perusing a brown, leather-bound book that was no doubt of magical origin.

'Ministry of Magic!' Tonks stepped into the green fire, completely expecting the fall she experienced upon exiting. Apparently a few of the other witches and wizards in the vicinity were unsurprised by it too; she was shot a few amused smirks, and some said – with amusement – various incarnations of "good afternoon." Luna had no such difficulties, but she spent a good few seconds looking around her in scrutiny.

'I'd have gone by the visitor's entrance,' explained Tonks, 'but that would have been too much messing around. Madam Bones gives us a bit of transport leeway when it comes to bringing in prisoners and witnesses.'

'Shall we go investigate the Rotfang Conspiracy then?' Luna gave Tonks a mischievous smile, and the Auror decided that they were probably rubbing off on her after all.


	21. Chapter Eighteen

Summary: Tonks, Sirius, Snape, Narcissa, Luna, Dobby and Bob the Dementor must save the Wizarding World one evil faction at a time. Together, they walk the downward spiral to insanity.

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Disclaimer: (I guess I should probably include this) Harry Potter and all related characters property of J.K. Rowling.

Chapter Eighteen

Rufus Scrimgeour knew of their presence seconds after the two had stepped onto Level Two. This was only partially due to the fact that Tonks tripped over her own feet and ran head first into a long-bearded wizard carrying a stack of files.

'Sorry, Winston.'

'TONKS!'

'Good luck, Tonks.' The wizard named Winston patted her on the back, and left, having summoned the files back to their original position.

The lion-like man had stalked out of his office in a right rage not unlike that of his animal kingdom counterpart. For a second, Tonks could've sworn that he was roaring.

'Would you mind explaining to me what happened at the Lovegood residence, Tonks? We heard reports of a battle, and we get there and find Xenophilus Lovegood dead, and half the house destroyed.'

'Well I was ambushed,' Tonks shrugged, 'Xenophilus got struck by one of their Killing Curses – I did tell him to stay out of the way.'

'And just _who_ may have felt the need to ambush you?'

'I don't know, I didn't stop to ask their names!' Tonks calmed down considerably after her brief outburst, before adding. 'I think it might have been the Wizarding Mafia, though.'

'Oh, and just how did you figure that?'

Tonks shrugged again. She couldn't very well reveal the lengths of involvement of the Order of the Phoenix – that would get her arrested for sure. 'First of all, the night of the...incident, Xenophilus Lovegood recalls a man asking if he had any chloroform on their premises. Enforcers of the Wizarding Mafia are not well known for their intelligence; not only did they involve a third party, they evidently couldn't pull off a simple Stunner. At least, no-one who was left conscious could. Things indicate there was a pretty intense battle at the Burrow.'

Scrimgeour was still attempting to get over one barrier. 'Chlorofim?' he asked. Not often did he have to deal with things related to muggle inventions. Usually he'd just get Arthur or Perkins from down the hall to write a report, which he'd get an underling to read.

'Chloroform.' Tonks was almost sick of explaining this to every person she came across. Why couldn't they just pay a little more attention to the muggle world? 'Muggle drug, used to knock unconscious.'

'Why not just use blunt force?'

'Probably watch too much television.'

Scrimgeour did not understand this statement, but nodded anyway. He knew enough to realise that if it was important, it would be explained properly.

'Perhaps this conversation would be best continued in my office, Tonks. And this is Miss Lovegood, I presume.' Scrimgeour nodded to Luna, and conveyed his sympathies at the loss of her father. Luna was completely oblivious to his words of kindness; the entire walk to Scrimgeour's office, she had been staring at the roof.

'We've been avoiding a tail for the past few days,' Tonks gave the half-truth with amazing ease. It must have been all those years of interaction with her scrupulous mother. 'Ambushed a couple more times before I managed to get us here.'

'More ambushes?' Scrimgeour raised a grey-streaked eyebrow.

'Yes, sir. Once by more enforcers whilst seeking information from known Mafia affiliates, and once by Dementors, in a beach-side camping ground. First time I-'

Scrimgeour cut her off. 'Dementors?' he asked, in a tone that couldn't decide between admonished and surprised.

'Yes, sir.'

'You are aware that Dementors are under Ministry control, Tonks.' He looked at her with narrowed eyes, as if daring to suggest that the Ministry wasn't quite in possession of all their Dementors, pun intended.

'I am aware of that, sir. I am also aware of the fact that we were set upon by at least two hundred Dementors.' One of which is in the tent right now, probably being served a hot chocolate by Dobby.

'You have not taken any mind altering drugs in the past few days?' Scrimgeour gave Tonks a second look from his famous collection, one that suggested that he expected people of her age and personality type to be partaking in substances of the illegal variety.

'Uh...no sir. Luna saw them too,' she added helpfully.

'And neither of you were injured in the attacks?' He was apparently not asking this as a question of concern, but as a question of mental impairment. Past injuries could, of course, be followed up by the Healers at St. Mungo's.

'Got in the way of a pretty nasty curse,' admitted Tonks reluctantly, 'but I'm fine now.' She realised painfully that admitting injury also admitted that there was someone actually there to heal her. Scrimgeour realised it himself, all too quickly.

'And how is it that you were healed? If you successfully managed to fight off your attackers, then I would assume that firstly, none of them would be conscious _to_ heal you, and secondly, they were probably not attacking just so they could heal you.'

'I didn't see who healed me, sir.' It was, after all, the truth – she had been out of her senses when Sirius had healed her, and was thus unable to see him. 'He scarpered before I got a chance to see who it was.'

Scrimgeour seemed satisfied with this explanation. He turned to Luna, and asked, a little too harshly, 'Did you see him?'

'Yes,' smiled Luna, and Tonks felt her heart sink slightly. Luna continued, 'I didn't recognise him though. He was blonde – oldish, perhaps. Looked as though he'd been attacked by Nargles at some point.'

Scrimgeour expected nothing less from the daughter of the man who ran the Quibbler.

**A/N: **** It only takes thirty seconds to push the review button, folks. Even if it's just to give a thumbs up or down, though criticism would be much appreciated (constructive only).**


	22. Chapter Nineteen

Summary: Tonks, Sirius, Snape, Narcissa, Luna, Dobby and Bob the Dementor must save the Wizarding World one evil faction at a time. Together, they walk the downward spiral to insanity.

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Disclaimer: (I guess I should probably include this) Harry Potter and all related characters property of J.K. Rowling.

Note to the anonymous reviewer worried about Sirius's drinking habits: Sirius is using the drinking as a coping strategy for his bottled up stress. He isn't planning on sculling the whole bottle and dancing the Macarena in the buff. Once he's sorted out the stressful parts in his life, the drinking will subside a little; it's not as though he can walk right into a psychiatrist's office. I too enjoy Sirius as a character, and do not want to see him ruined by excessive alcoholism.

Chapter Nineteen

Rufus Scrimgeour was not well trained in dealing with matters of child custody. In the old days, he could have battled Death Eaters with both hands tied behind his back, but he couldn't find a suitable temporary guardian for Luna Lovegood.

'You shouldn't worry,' Luna had assured him. 'The Crumple-Horned Snorkacks will take care of me.' From the look on the girl's face, she was clearly enjoying the exasperation of Scrimgeour. Scrimgeour had requested the assistance of a member of the Magical Law Enforcement Squad, who was more accustomed to what certain Aurors described as "mundane procedures".

'Well,' began the representative, whose name was Firrel, 'normally in these circumstances, you would be sent to reside with your closest living relative, but as none can be found, we shall have to resort to the wishes transcribed in your father's will.' Firrel spoke to Luna as if she were an adult, and this, she appreciated. People had tried consoling her endlessly after the untimely death of her mother, as if they believed that this was really all there was in life. 'According to our offices, though, your father did not leave a last will.'

'Yes.' Luna nodded vigorously. 'He didn't really believe in such things.'

'I'm afraid that this means we will have to find a suitable foster home for you. While that is being sorted, though, is there anyone you would like to stay with?'

Luna hummed softly, as if deep in thought.

'What about the Weasleys?' Tonks suggested. Her hand had somehow managed to find Luna's shoulder, and was holding it gently.

'I'd like that,' said Luna, withdrawing from her reverie.

'Would you like me to talk to Arthur Weasley about it?' Tonks directed the question at Firrel, who gave an affirmative response.

'I'll stay here with Luna.'

The Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office was smaller than Tonks remembered. Any free space that was there last time she had seen it was now occupied with several piles of cassette walkmans. Arthur was not in sight, though Perkins – Arthur's assistant – was.

'Oh hello there Tonks. We requested an Auror to look into these Confunding Runmans, would that be you then?'

'Walkmans,' Tonks muttered under her breath. 'No, I just need to have a word with Arthur. Do you know how long he'll be?' Without warning, Arthur appeared from underneath his small desk. Tonks almost jumped in fright – an act that in itself would have required another Auror – but composed herself just in time.

'Afternoon, Arthur.'

'Afternoon, Tonks. How's the investigation going?' Arthur feigned ignorance rather well: he knew perfectly well how the investigation was going, having been at the meeting the previous night.

'Rather odd case, really. I hate to be saying this, but if they hadn't wanted your son alive, he would be well and truly dead by now.' This was the kind of bluntness most Aurors were known for. They only covered up the truth when ordered to.

'Yes.' Arthur nodded glumly. 'I heard about Xenophilus Lovegood. He was an odd man, but pleasant nonetheless.'

'Actually,' Tonks scratched her head. 'Regarding Xenophilus, do you think you could do me a favour? You see...Luna – his daughter – needs somewhere to stay, and I thought that...' she hesitated, unsure how to finish.

'She might like to stay with us?' Arthur finished the sentence for her, as if he had been expecting it, which apparently he had. 'Yes, we discussed that last night – while you were asleep. Dumbledore seemed to think it best if she did stay with us. In case they decide to come back.'

Tonks breathed a sigh of relief. 'Molly's fine with that?'

'You know Molly. Thinking about the more, the merrier.'

Tonks gave a wan smile. That did sound like Molly; and in these grim times, one needed as much merriment as could possibly be found. Fortunately, fate seemed to be going their way for once, because everything seemed in order on the Magical Law Enforcement Squad end as well. It was arranged that Luna would catch the muggle underground home with Arthur, who had been planning on leaving soon in any case; without an Auror they could apparently not continue on the case of the Confunding Walkmans. This left Tonks free to talk to Maximillian Rowdgers – liaison to the Department of Mysteries.

**A/N: Thank you all for your continued support. Glad to see no-one hates it so far. Thanks especially to ****kokoro**** for your amazingly supportive review (that's just the kind of story I was going for) and ****Mariano'sTwins****, for your unwavering support.**


	23. Chapter Twenty

Summary: Tonks, Sirius, Snape, Narcissa, Luna, Dobby and Bob the Dementor must save the Wizarding World one evil faction at a time. Together, they walk the downward spiral to insanity.

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Disclaimer: (I guess I should probably include this) Harry Potter and all related characters property of J.K. Rowling.

Chapter Twenty

Maximillian Rowdgers was an enigma. Not quite on level with the Unspeakables, he often refused to discuss anything at all related to the Department of Mysteries, despite the fact that he was the designated Liaison Officer.

'Don't know what you're talking about,' he said offhandedly, when Tonks questioned him about the Hall of Prophecies.

'Right.' Tonks was entirely unconvinced – she knew that the Hall of Prophecies existed, though technically, she wasn't supposed to know. 'Max, I'm an Auror, not some dunderhead from the Department of Magical Games and Sports.' A passing wizard clad in the emerald robes of the Kenmare Kestrels shot her a dirty look; it was the price paid for discussing their business in the Atrium.

'Listen,' he lowered his voice to a whisper. 'It's called the Department of Mysteries for a reason. I go babbling secrets, and they'll shunt me off to the Obliviators.'

'It's not babbling if I already know about it,' she retorted. 'This isn't some personal satisfaction codswallop, Max. This is serious business.'

'What do you need?' he asked, hovering between giving in to her needs, and ignoring them altogether. He took the liberty of moving the conversation to somewhere more private – one of the courtrooms on Level Ten. The courtrooms had not been used since the times of paranoia after the First War. Every second day, it seemed one person or another was accused of being a Death Eater. The courtroom they were in now was rather small, evidently not reserved for a full Wizengamot.

'There are two prophecies relating to a group known as the Wizarding Mafia. I need to see them.'

'I can't just go around handing out prophecies, Tonks, there are procedures,' Max sounded rather exasperated: it was only ever the Aurors that would try and subvert the Department of Mysteries' secrecy.

'So proceed!'

'Er...' Max hesitated. 'I'm only a liaison. I don't have the authority to actually know what the procedures are.'

'Find someone who does. I _need _to know the contents of those prophecies, Max. One of them is Harry Potter and the Wizarding Mafia. That's why they've kidnapped him – they want the prophecy, and they're going to hand him over to Voldemort when they're done.' Max did not flinch at the sound of the name – Unspeakables, and even Liaison Officers were taught to keep their cools. Max managed to use this technique most of the time.

'I...'

'Oh, come on, Max. You know that other prophecy. Harry Potter and the Dark Lord. _Neither can live while the other survives_. Do you really want the Wizarding Mafia to hand him over to Voldemort?'

'He's not back,' Max objected, 'Fudge says so.'

'You know Fudge is an idiot as well as I do. Don't be so naive. The very fate of the Wizarding World could lie in your hands. You could be promoted even. Please, Max, just talk to them, even if they don't talk back.'

Max was evidently not happy, but he agreed to at least ask the Unspeakables for permission. Satisfied that more answers would be coming soon, Tonks made her way back up to the Atrium, where she could exit to the muggle world. As she reached the fireplaces, though, she ran into Kingsley Shacklebolt.

'Wotcher, Kingsley.' She gave him a warm smile. 'Drugged anyone recently?' He looked startled at first, almost a little uneasy, but then relaxed infinitely when he realised that she was joking. Tonks may have been a bright, easygoing person most of the time, but it could never be forgotten that the blood of one of Britain's most ruthless Wizarding families ran through her veins.

'Updates on the Potter case?' he asked, his voice calm as always.

'Maybe. I'm waiting for word back from Rowdgers about a couple of prophecies. If we know what they want from him, we might be able to find him. Still – they don't know what they want from him until they can use him to get to the prophecy. All a bit confusing isn't it – self fulfilling prophecies and the like. Like Macbeth.'

'Mac-who?' asked Kingsley.

'Muggle bloke; liked killing people. Fictional, of course, but no less instructive.' Kingsley smiled, but came no closer to enlightenment.

'I was thinking,' Tonks continued. 'Find out what's in these prophecies, and then infiltrate the Wizarding Mafia, promising to help get the prophecies, seeing as how we've got all this knowledge. Then, set an ambush in the Hall of Prophecies when they come looking.'

'They won't be expecting that?'

'Not if no-one tells them. We've been pretty damn lucky so far – as though someone's been slipping some of the old Felix into the teapot.'

Kingsley lowered his head. 'You just have to remember to _be careful_.'

Tonks grinned. 'You know me, King. Careful's my middle name.' He sighed outwardly as she tripped into the grate that led to the muggle world above.


	24. Chapter Twenty One

Seven Characters in Search of a Story

Chapter Twenty-One

A most remarkable assembly of folk were milling around the kitchen of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, awaiting the arrival of Albus Dumbledore. The previous night, Narcissa Malfoy had travelled to Hogwarts where the headmaster questioned her intentions. That she was here now was proof enough that she was, apparently, trustworthy, though whether it was discovered through Legilimency or other means was unknown to the rest of the Order of the Phoenix.

'Just like he trusts Snape,' Sirius muttered to no-one in particular, though Tonks was the only one within hearing range.

'If we couldn't trust Dumbledore, we'd all be enslaved by Grindelwald,' she sighed in reply. 'How's Luna?' asked Tonks of Molly, who was having a tray of tea and biscuits pressed upon her by Dobby. The elf had taken to the population of the gloomy residence with gusto, and immediately set about make breakfast, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner, supper and midnight snacks.

'Upstairs with Ginny, Fred and George. Talking about school, I suppose.' There was a smile on Molly's face, but it was highly strained, and filled with sorrow. A predisposition, Tonks supposed, that was responsible for assuming that the four teens would be wholly uninterested in the impromptu meeting. Even now, she could see the Extendable Ear, attached to the flesh coloured string, creeping underneath the door. In all her grief, Molly had forgotten to put an Imperturbable Charm on the room.

'Ginny's out of Saint Mungo's then?'

'For a few days now.'

Tonks frowned, remembering that Ginny had already been released when she was last here. This case was really messing with her head. Still, that was no excuse to ignore the opportunity at hand.

'Did they mention the recent epidemic of leek growth in outpatients?' One of the ears twitched slightly, and Tonks displaced it with a Banishing Charm, followed by an Imperturbable for good measure.

'Leeks, dear?'

'Just a rumour,' shrugged Tonks. Personally, she had no qualms against teenagers listening in on Order meetings. After all, it's what she would have done not five years ago. In this circumstance, though, they couldn't really stand for having anyone hear the details; some Gryffindors were hot-headed enough to try and save the day, even when it was a really bad idea.

'Wandering ears?' asked Remus, who was well attuned to his somewhat enhanced senses. Apparently, though, he too was less uptight about age restrictions.

'If wandering ears are the least of our worries, then we have much to be grateful.' Tonks looked up: it sounded like a Dumbledore thing to say. Sure enough, the wizened old man stood at the doorway, his half-moon glasses perched on the end of his crooked nose and a twinkle in his eye. Narcissa Malfoy entered behind him, diminished in the presence of the Hogwarts Headmaster.

'Shall we begin?' smiled Dumbledore.


	25. Chapter Twenty Two

Summary: Tonks, Sirius, Snape, Narcissa, Luna, Dobby and Bob the Dementor must save the Wizarding World one evil faction at a time. Together, they walk the downward spiral to insanity.

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Disclaimer: (I guess I should probably include this) Harry Potter and all related characters property of J.K. Rowling.

Chapter Twenty Two

The meeting was indeed a tense one; once the Order members had heard the contents of the prophecies, they had taken to fidgeting nervously. It seemed Max had come through; Tonks didn't know how many strings he had pulled, and how many favours he called in, but the fact of the matter was he had handed her two tiny glass balls earlier that morning. The same Seer had prophesised them both – a man by the name of Chagrin Hamoth. The name was familiar; Hamoth was one of the world's most renowned Seers, being able to attribute names and dates when others could not.

"_Seven walk the path. The path of pain, damnation, secrecy. When the path ends, fire shall see the end of a deadly foe."_

'That's the ambiguous version,' explained Tonks, 'Apparently the Unspeakables are fine with handing out the ambiguous versions, because no-one quite has a clue what they're supposed to mean. The full version – with all the details, is stored in the Department of Mysteries itself, and no amount of authority is going to get us in there. The second one's worse. "_Three shall overcome __the collective__."_ Only reason we know who they're about is because Max had the consideration to tell me that much.' There were a few unhappy faces at the names that were then mentioned: Snape wanted to spend as little time as possible with Sirius, Sirius was sick of being followed around by the half-crazed Dementor Bob, Bob was getting jealous of Luna and Dobby's friendship, Luna was underage, Dobby was insane, and Tonks just plain didn't want to deal with it right now. No-one was surprised at the names from the second prophecy: even if Harry, Ron and Hermione weren't missing, no one would have batted an eyelid. It was something they had come to expect from the so-called "Golden Trio".

'But they ain't even golden,' complained Mundungus at someone else's sarcastic remark.

It was a risky move, informing everyone of the plan. Usually, the full details were disclosed to a select few, for security reasons. This time, they needed everyone ready in case the shit hit the fan.

Narcissa's news was just as foreboding: Voldemort had passed on orders for her and Snape to gain access to the Wizarding Mafia's ranks, and to assist them in retrieving the necessary prophecies.

'So we can ambush them in the Hall of Prophecies,' concluded Tonks. Looking over at the far side of the table, she decided that she did not like that twinkle in Dumbledore's eye. Of course, she had prepared for the possibility of having to go covert many times – after all, she was a ready-made candidate – but that didn't change the specific order that was sending her there.

'I think perhaps yourself and Sirius should accompany them,' smiled Dumbledore. Seeing that she was right, Tonks let out an audible sigh.

'Why Sirius? Voldemort knows he's not evil – Pettigrew would have told him from the start.'

'But one must consider the undeniable fact that Voldemort rarely puts the utmost trust in his "inferiors". He would not have told the Wizarding Mafia that Sirius is innocent – they are still under the belief he is a dangerous fugitive wanted for murder. And, I believe Sirius wants to be involved in this – as much, if not more than anyone else.'

Sirius gave a short nod to his old Headmaster. He recognised Dumbledore's astuteness from the many times he had been caught doing pranks which he had thought untraceable. In the twenty year time span, he had not lost his touch.

'You must allow them to trust you, for only then will you be able to determine the location of our three youngsters. We shall keep the guard on the Department of Mysteries tripled, and await the date of the extraction operation. If all goes as planned, you should have discovered their location before this time. If not, then changes will be made as the situation stands. I wish you all the very best of luck.'

And then, it was dinner time. At least, mused Tonks in a most macabre manner, they'd be having their last meals with friends.

**A/N: So my two exams this week are over, and I'm all Haloed out for now, so I thought I'd update. Enjoy the ride, and don't forget to review. Peace out.**


	26. Chapter Twenty Three

Summary: Tonks, Sirius, Snape, Narcissa, Luna, Dobby and Bob the Dementor must save the Wizarding World one evil faction at a time. Together, they walk the downward spiral to insanity.

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Disclaimer: (I guess I should probably include this) Harry Potter and all related characters property of J.K. Rowling.

Chapter Twenty Three

The robes were itchy. That was her first thought as she examined her vastly altered appearance in the mirror. The robes were itchy. It wasn't something along the lines of: We're all going to die, it was: the robes were itchy.

'These robes are itchy,' muttered Sirius, standing next to Tonks. He was clad in the same black robes with silver fastenings that made them all look particularly mysterious.

'At least we don't have to do the mask thing,' Tonks reassured him, thinking of Death Eaters. 'What do you think of the hair?' She flicked her head dramatically, alabaster locks flipping over her eyes.

'A little too distinctive, don't you think?' Sirius raised an eyebrow.

'White isn't distinctive. Purple is distinctive. Besides, we have to make an impression; otherwise they'll just ignore us.' She cycled through a few different colours, before returning to white.

'If you want to make an impression, what's wrong with black?'

'All the generic villains have black hair. If you want to be top villain, you've got to go distinctive. Though not too long or it looks tacky. Plus dark eyes make you look really evil.' Her eyes flashed red at Sirius briefly, and on pure instinct, he recoiled.

'You've thought about this a lot, haven't you?'

'Few times a day maximum.'

'If you've quite finished gossiping, the rest of us are ready to depart.' Snape's voice intruded on the almost jovial conversation. He and Narcissa were standing in the doorway, moments away from sharing exasperated looks. Both were looking villainous, as expected, though Tonks wondered if Narcissa had had her robes fitted tightly on purpose.

'We're ready,' said Sirius shortly, and there was an air about his voice that suggested he wanted to add a few more words, none of them suitable for underage listeners.

'Fantastic.' Snape's tone was visibly sarcastic. 'We shall be Apparating to a village known as Box Hill, where we will be met by a man named Pellinore. He shall then take us to the outpost of the Wizarding Mafia. Is that clear?'

There were varied mutters of affirmation, at least two of which failed to conceal what may have been indignation. Dumbledore had placed Snape in charge, and it would be difficult for them to conceal feelings of dislike towards the Potions Master.

Snape turned on the spot immediately, and disappeared. He was followed by Narcissa, Sirius, and Tonks who was carrying a black rucksack. The one bag was enough to carry all their possessions, none of which contained any identifying characteristics. It would have been a fine cock up if they had been defeated by a misplaced address book.

'Got here alright then?' The man who Tonks assumed to be Pellinore was leaning against a tree nearby. He had evidently been waiting for them, which was a good sign. He was tall, with short dark hair, and a goatee. His clothing, Tonks noted with amusement, was black.

'Nice to see you again Missus Malfoy.' He kissed her hand. 'This must be the infamous Severus Snape.' This hand he shook, 'the even more infamous Sirius Black, oh I liked that mugshot they put on the posters – made you look positively mad.' He turned to Tonks. 'An addition I was not informed of then?'

'My distant cousin,' Narcissa informed him smoothly. 'Delphinus Black. Her involvement is at the request of the Dark Lord.' Tonks relaxed slightly as Pellinore took this information in stride. The name Delphinus though – it was almost as bad as Nymphadora.

The dark robes looked rather foreboding against the infinite green of the scenery. Pellinore insisted that they walk to the village, as Apparition of such a large group would leave magical traces in the air, enough to track them by. It was a less risky option to walk straight in as though they had lived there all their lives.

The outpost was protected by the Fidelus Charm, as they soon found out. As Pellinore was the Secret Keeper, he had essentially already provided them with permission to access the outpost.

'Leader of the outpost is always the Secret Keeper,' he informed them nonchalantly. 'Less flak if someone high up gets captured.'

Several people appeared to be in residence at the outpost. One, Tonks recognised as Oedipus, the man with the substandard intelligence.

'Hello Missus Malfoy. I see you've brought some friends with you,' he gave Tonks a leering stare, which she disputed with an ice-cold glare. Oedipus shrugged off the glare like water off a duck's back. He turned to Pellinore.

'Prisoners were a little rowdy after you left, but I quietened them.' Tonks wondered if he was talking about Harry, Ron and Hermione. From the look on the faces of her companions, they too were wondering the same thing.

'Oedipus, this is Severus Snape, my cousin Sirius Black, and another cousin, Delphinus Black.'

Oedipus grunted. 'Didn't know you were related to the Blacks. That mean you're related to that stinkin' Auror?' With a start, Tonks realised that he was referring to her. To her credit, Narcissa did not flinch.

'She is my niece, and an abomination in the eyes of the Dark Lord.' Narcissa spoke callously, and Tonks got the idea that it wasn't all act. There was still bad blood, regardless of Narcissa's status in the war.

'She will be dead by the end,' Pellinore assured them. 'It would not surprise me if she was at the Ministry when we attack it. My source has informed me that she has a rather curious interest in the Hall of Prophecies.'

Eager to shift the topic, Sirius spoke up. 'When do we go in?'

Pellinore smiled. 'We go in tonight.'

**A/N: I'm feeling a little concerned about the language I'm using – could the British in the room ****inform me as to whether or not it's sounding British enough, because I honestly have no clue. Keep up the reviewing as always. Peace out.**


	27. Chapter Twenty Four

Summary: Tonks, Sirius, Snape, Narcissa, Luna, Dobby and Bob the Dementor must save the Wizarding World one evil faction at a time. Together, they walk the downward spiral to insanity.

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Disclaimer: (I guess I should probably include this) Harry Potter and all related characters property of J.K. Rowling.

Chapter Twenty Four

Tonight. They were attacking the Department of Mysteries tonight. That was indeed an interesting development, if a little sudden.

'What about reconnaissance? Surely we need to-' Tonks was stopped by a wave of the hand from Pellinore.

'We've been planning this out for months,' he told her. 'Only thing missing was Voldemort's entourage. Now that you're here, we can go straight in. With the voluntary assistance of the accommodating Professor Snape we can retrieve one prophecy, and with the less voluntary assistance of Potter and Pals we can retrieve the other. When both have been retrieved, you lot get Potter. That was the deal.'

Sirius looked Pellinore in the eye, grey meeting black. 'If I may, I would like to see "Potter and Pals" as you call them. It is he that is responsible for my imprisonment in Azkaban.

'Now, now, Black. We can't spoil the goods too soon. Oedipus has already had his turn; we need them fresh for tonight.'

Sirius blanched internally at the insinuation that someone had already attempted torture. Outside, he was as calm and collected as one would expect from a possibly insane escaped convict. 'I do not wish to harm him, merely to inform him of his less than fortunate future.'

'I'll go with him,' said Tonks, almost hurriedly. 'Make sure he doesn't do anything too drastic. Unless, of course, you don't trust us.' Pellinore had raised an eyebrow, but lowered it immediately on the accusation of mistrust. He did not want to upset anyone remotely associated with the prominent Dark Wizard.

'He-they are down. Down in the basement. Take your time, we will be in the room through there – the kitchen – where I shall make tea and we shall discuss the plans for tonight.' He all but ran from the room, followed by Narcissa, nose in the air and back arched; and Snape, who threw a smirk in their direction.

'Nosy git,' said Sirius, not attempting to dampen his voice in the least.

The staircase was winding, and it was as though it led into an abyss.

'I was thinking,' said Tonks, and this was the real reason she wanted to be with Sirius alone. 'If they – we – are attacking the Hall of Prophecies tonight, then why are we getting Harry to pass on to Voldemort. Wouldn't it be a damn sight simpler for him to sort out his business in the Hall of Prophecies at the same time? You can bet that security will be trumped up after one attack, unless it's covered up, of course.'

Sirius was quiet, as if in thought. 'It's something to keep in mind, isn't it?' he finally said.

The door at the bottom of the staircase was ornate to say the least. Symbolism, it seemed, was high on the list of Wizarding Mafia priorities. It was locked.

Tonks unlocked it with a tap of her wand, and went to turn the handle. Sirius stopped her.

'_Wait_,' he whispered, and leaned to the doorjamb. 'Harry, can you hear me?'

'Sirius?' came the reply. Sirius nodded to himself, and then opened the door. He knew that Harry, like James, would not have been averse to charging any unidentified person that was to enter his cell. Upon entry, he was charged, though not in the usual manner. He found Harry's arms wrapped around him in a tight hug.

Sirius found it a little hard to breath. Ron and Hermione were hanging back, unsure whether intrusion would be met with hostility. Finally, Harry let go, his glasses lopsided.

'Sorry,' he told Sirius sheepishly. It hadn't been a long imprisonment by any means, but it was good to know that someone cared enough to come rescue him.

'We haven't got much time.' Sirius spoke matter-of-factly. 'They think I'm coming down to warn you of your imminent doom, so it would be good if you could pretend to be scared.' It said a lot that Sirius assumed his godson had not been scared. Nonetheless, Sirius continued in a rushed voice. 'We're hitting the Department of Mysteries tonight, where we'll have people set in ambush. Can you hold on until then?'

Harry nodded fiercely. Hermione spoke up, her voice timider than usual. 'What if they use Legilimency on us? Won't that reveal your plan?' Harry and Ron both opened their mouths, no doubt to ask what Legilimency was.

'I think Pellinore's the only one smart enough to use Legilimency, and he's shit-scared of anyone associated with "the Dark Lord". I think we're safe.' Harry looked at Tonks questioningly. She nodded towards Sirius, who said: 'We've got Snape and Narcissa Malfoy with us. I'm not sure I trust them, but Dumbledore does. We're supposedly an envoy of Voldemort's – it's the only way they'd trust us. Oh, and this is my cousin, Tonks.'

'They're trying to kill you, you know.' Ron spoke up abruptly.

'Yeah, I know.' Tonks gave him a sad smile. She was really getting sick of hearing it.


	28. Interlude III

Summary: Tonks, Sirius, Snape, Narcissa, Luna, Dobby and Bob the Dementor must save the Wizarding World one evil faction at a time. Together, they walk the downward spiral to insanity.

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Disclaimer: (I guess I should probably include this) Harry Potter and all related characters property of J.K. Rowling.

Interlude III

Grimmauld Place was devoid of its more frequent guests. It was a busy time for both the Ministry and the Order, the result of which was that Ginny, Fred, George and Luna seemed to be left to their own devices. In their ignorance, the remaining residents had apparently forgotten about Dobby's constant presence, and they talked freely in front of him. Since he had not been ordered to keep his mouth shut, he was now relaying all that he had heard to his newly acquired best friend. Fred, George and Ginny looked on with great interest.

'They're going to-'

'-break into-'

'-the Department of Mysteries-'

'-tonight?'

'Yes! Dobby is hearing of the Professor Snape, who passed the message on to the Order. And Professor Snape is also saying that they has found Harry Potter and his Wheezy and the Hermione Granger!' The elf clapped his hands together joyfully, and could not quite prevent himself from bursting into tears of joy.

'Did they say what time?' asked Ginny, 'Evening, or later on?'

'Dobby does not know, he only knows that they are going tonight.'

The youngest Weasley looked at around at her older brothers, and her friend. The redheads seemed to share a grim-faced determination and Luna looked as she always did – stuck in a placid reverie.

'How're we going to get past Mum though?'

Fred snorted. 'Mum's been a right state since last Thursday. Went to bed by seven most nights. It's been the same since you've got back though. Must be Ickle-Ronnikins she's worried about.' His voice did not hold the usual amount of cheer, though it was rather happier than it had been before he had discovered his brother's state of wellbeing.

'Plus,' added George, 'We're not that far from King's Cross, we can easily catch the train in.'

'Do you really think this is a good idea, though?' Doubt had begun to creep into Ginny's eyes, a by-product of the previous week's events. 'I mean, what help are we going to be?'

'For all the nobility of the Order of the Phoenix, it's not as though the numbers are outstandingly high. Obviously, we've got Dumbledore – big boon there, and then there're the Aurors, and then Sirius and Lupin, and a bunch of other people. But this Wizarding Mafia – they've got hundreds, maybe thousands of enforcers, all over the country. We go in, we can be a second line of defence. Give it our best shot.'

'And what can we do, levitate them towards the chandeliers?'

'Well I doubt they'd be expecting to be undone by a box of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes,' George cracked a grin.

'Oh, and what're you planning on doing? Transfiguring their wands into toadstools?'

'Say, that's not a bad idea. We'll have to add it to the list.' Fred pulled a battered notebook from his pocket, filled with an unintelligible scrawl.

'We'll get on it after the Skiving Snackboxes are perfected,' he promised her. 'But in the meantime-'

'-we'll have to sort out-'

'-our arsenal for tonight.'

Without another word, they Apparated away, no doubt to find things that went bang. Luna looked sideways at Ginny, not quite used to the notion of fear. Dobby still cried his tears of joy, pausing briefly to blow his nose on a concealed handkerchief. Bob lingered at the door, pining at the distinct lack of Sirius. Luna looked around the room in her dreamy, thoughtful way, before finally saying, 'A bit strange those brothers of yours, aren't they?'


	29. Chapter Twenty Five

Summary: Tonks, Sirius, Snape, Narcissa, Luna, Dobby and Bob the Dementor must save the Wizarding World one evil faction at a time. Together, they walk the downward spiral to insanity.

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Disclaimer: (I guess I should probably include this) Harry Potter and all related characters property of J.K. Rowling.

Chapter Twenty Five

At this time of night, the Ministry of Magic was nigh deserted; a few workaholics were holed up in their cubicles, attention paid only to the task before them. At the very least, there was no-one around to notice the rather large contingent of non-Ministry personnel about to assault the Department of Mysteries.

Except, of course, various Order members.

Kingsley Shacklebolt, Minerva McGonagall, Remus Lupin and Albus Dumbledore were patrolling the Hall of Prophecies. Disillusioned, it was suspected that the attacking witches and wizards would be rather more focused on the task ahead. Mad-Eye Moody, under his Invisibility Cloak, guarded the long, forbidding hall of the Department of Mysteries, along with Hestia Jones and Emmeline Vance. For some odd reason, no-one had been able to find Mundungus Fletcher, though it was presumed that he had fled in cowardice at the notion of a potentially dangerous mission. Arthur, Bill and Charlie Weasley were scouting the Atrium, waiting for the arrival. The arrival, when it came, was most unexpected – instead of hardened members of the Wizarding Mafia, Arthur Weasley found himself staring at three of his children, one of their school friends, a house elf, and a Dementor.

Anger did not quite begin to cover it. For security's sake, he dragged them behind the Fountain of Magical Brethren, its size giving off a somewhat artificial sense of security.

'_What are you doing here?_' he seethed, in an anger that did not befit him. Before an answer could be given, there was a sign that the _real_ enemies were arriving. Hastily, Arthur Disillusioned their unwelcome guests. It went unsaid that they had to be very quiet. Subconsciously, Arthur noted that Disillusionment worked perfectly well on non-human creatures.

Loud footsteps echoed against the black marble floor – at least fifteen lesser members of the Wizarding Mafia, allowing themselves to be led like sheep by the two that were clearly in charge. In amongst the "sheep", Arthur recognised Narcissa Malfoy, and Severus Snape. Behind all the others was a smaller group – five people (one of whom was Sirius) directing three teenagers forward to the lifts. Arthur's grip on his wand tightened.

Despite what they had been through, Harry, Ron and Hermione did not look too dishevelled – not when compared to catastrophes brought on by exploding cauldrons from the second floor of the Burrow. It took all Arthur's strength not to run over there right now, hexing anyone who got in his way. Instead, he pulled out a small silver token from his pocket, squeezing it tightly. If Arthur had not been Disillusioned, it would have turned luminous, though invisibility did not stop it from emitting heat. The Protean Charm was common amongst secret societies, and the Order of the Phoenix was no different – the luminosity and heat would be reciprocated in all tokens linked to it.

As soon as the footsteps had diminished to a distant tapping, Arthur turned to the spot he had last seen his underaged children, and whispered, '_Stay _right_ here_.'

Of course, even if they hadn't already crept off in the direction of a lift, they probably wouldn't have listened.

**A/N: Another short one because I'm going to fall asleep any second now. If all goes to plan, the Department of Mysteries scenes will last several chapters. After that, there are several ****key things that will need to be dealt with before the "climatic" finish. Note that these key things haven't quite been planned out properly; when I mentioned a plan earlier, I was actually using sarcasm. This is mostly flying by the seat of my pants. I have general ideas, but no specific plan. That said, I do know how it will be ending, and intend for it to end in the near future so that I can take a brief hiatus to complete a bunch of crappy assignments due in the next three weeks before moving on to the sequel. Yes a sequel. Even if you don't read anything else in this overly long paragraph, remember the word sequel, and hold me to it even if you have to put me under the Cruciatus Curse. Peace out.**


	30. Chapter Twenty Six

Summary: Tonks, Sirius, Snape, Narcissa, Luna, Dobby and Bob the Dementor must save the Wizarding World one evil faction at a time. Together, they walk the downward spiral to insanity.

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Disclaimer: (I guess I should probably include this) Harry Potter and all related characters property of J.K. Rowling.

Chapter Twenty Six

Pellinore thought he heard footsteps. They had paused while someone – Oedipus, he thought, judging by the pudginess of the shadow – scouted ahead. He turned swiftly, and saw nothing. Then, maybe something – something that wasn't quite movement, but not quite nothing either. Not enough to launch into investigation, but enough to move the threat up to moderate.

'Eyes and ears open, people. One false move and you'll be pacing a cell in Azkaban.' He said this with the utmost sincerity, though it was undoubtedly a lie. Death before imprisonment was their silent motto – there was too high a chance of loose lips. That said, those that had ended up in prison were often found mysteriously dead in their cells.

They ferried down to Level 9 in two groups – Tonks, Snape, Oedipus, Pellinore and half a dozen enforcers in one group, Sirius, Narcissa, Harry, Ron and Hermione in the other group. Divide and conquer was the course of action. One group to one prophecy, one group to the other, meet up on the way back.

Sirius had a hand on Harry's shoulder, directing him down the hallway to a door that was imposing in its simplicity. Alike was the room beyond it – almost a solid mass of black, only marred by flames that flickered a mesmerising blue dance.

'Pick a door, any door,' said a wizard near the front of the group. His name was Damien, and he was equal in status to Pellinore.

The last person to enter announced their arrival with an accidental push forward. A muttered incantation of _'Flagarate_,' made a fiery mark across the back of the door – their source had told them of this rotating room.

Pushing open the closest door to him, Damien made the same distinctive mark on it. Almost as soon as they had entered, he pushed them back. Evidently, it was not the right way. Sirius gave Harry's shoulder a squeeze that was affectionate, though might have been mistaken for forceful by those watching.

The next room they entered was quite claustrophobic, like a narrow hallway cluttered with clocks and desks.

'It's through this way,' Damien nodded, negotiating his way across to the far door.

The Hall of Prophecies was immense. For as far as the eye could see in either direction, there was nothing but shelves that reached the ceiling, lined with glass balls. Some glowed as if they were alive, while others looked about as animated as a History of Magic classroom. On the shelf in front of them was a silver "Fifty-three".

'Which row do we need to get to?' asked Sirius.

'Twenty-eight, I believe,' said Damien, turning to look to the left, though it seemed as though there was no end to the rows. Soft footsteps from the right indicated that the other group, who had gone down before them, had a destination that lay in the opposite direction. Wand lit, Sirius noted the distinct eeriness of the whole place – the Department of Mysteries was a most befitting name.

'Here.' Row twenty-eight was no different than rows fifty-three through twenty-nine, but somehow it seemed more foreboding now they had reached their target. Not two metres down was a glass orb, no bigger than those around it. Below it were the dust-coated words: _Wizarding Mafia_ _and Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger_. _C.H. to D.G. _Sirius let go of Harry's shoulder.

'Pick it up.' Damien had his wand trained on Harry, a glint of malice hidden behind a murky brown. He would have no qualms in "persuading" the teen to obey. With hesitation, Harry took a brief sidelong glance at Sirius before returning his eyes to the Prophecy.

'Do it,' seethed Sirius, words coated with necessary, but nonetheless loathed hatred.

Shaking slightly, Harry reached out slowly, grasping the warm globe.

'Give it to me.' Damien held out his wandless hand, into which Harry pressed the Prophecy. Damien tapped it with his wand, and a glittering silver figure rose out of it. The Prophecy was quite short and to the point – Sirius wondered why they'd even bothered making an ambiguous version.

'_In the year following the Dark Lord's second return, the Boy Who Lived and his two greatest allies will be responsible for the fall of the Wizarding Mafia_.'

The figure shrunk back into the orb, once again silent.

There was a momentary pause before everything seemed to happen at once.

Sirius heard a distant sound reminiscent of smashing glass, followed by several soft but surprised yells as Order of the Phoenix members blinked into visibility around him. It was as Damien was taken out by Dumbledore's instantaneous silent Stunner that Sirius heard a very loud and very piercing scream.


	31. Chapter Twenty Seven

Summary: Tonks, Sirius, Snape, Narcissa, Luna, Dobby and Bob the Dementor must save the Wizarding World one evil faction at a time. Together, they walk the downward spiral to insanity.

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Disclaimer: (I guess I should probably include this) Harry Potter and all related characters property of J.K. Rowling.

Chapter Twenty Seven

The first group to go down had had a little more trouble with the revolving room. After Oedipus went through the wrong door, they spent a good two minutes trying to find him. Tonks was all for leaving him there; she didn't much like the man. Pellinore, though, refused to move on without a full group. The room they went through was a massive chamber, almost like an amphitheatre, filled with descending stone seats that culminated in a stone floor. In the centre of the room was a veiled archway perched upon a dais.

Although it seemed rather obvious, Pellinore still found the desire to point it out. 'Do _not_ step through the archway. You will die.' He led them to a door on the opposite end of the room that apparently led to the Hall of Prophecies, however indirectly. Beyond the Death Chamber, as Pellinore called it, was a room that was a mystery to them all. It was empty, the only thing in sight a large circle etched into the floor, encompassing most of the room.

'Don't step into the circle.' Pellinore was adamant – the absolute last thing he needed was half his crew to step through to another dimension, or summon a demon, or any other possibility that could occur from stepping over that thin line.

Pellinore had a quite clear command. No-one else dared talk as he led them through a door to the right. Again, the policy in this room was don't touch, though the only thing worthy of touching was a large tank filled with brains in the middle of the room. The door at the back led returned them to the rotating room, where they managed to find the correct path without further distraction.

'Which way is sixty-six?' mused Pellinore aloud, before leading the group to the right upon their exit from the so-called "Time Room".

Tonks threw Snape, who was behind her, a look that might have been construed as nervousness. He returned a gaze that was nothing less than his usual cold expression. Whatever emotion lay beneath those dark eyes was not to be revealed any time soon.

'It should be on the bottom shelf somewhere. Find it.'

As with all good plans, things would go pear-shaped when the most unpredictable event occurred. Oedipus bent down to check next to Tonks. A little too close, he fell into her, knocking her into the shelf. Well used to such maladroit events, Tonks threw out a hand to protect herself. It was a great misfortune that the hand she threw out landed on a prophecy – the exact prophecy they were looking for. The hand withdrew, not quite managing to extricate the Prophecy from her fingers.

It was a Department of Mysteries regulation that the names attached to a Prophecy were exact. That is to say, as Delphinus Black she was an affiliate of the Wizarding Mafia, not a member of the Mafia itself and as such unable to pick up the Prophecy. As Nymphadora Tonks, however, she was part of the Prophecy, and quite capable of lifting it from the shelf. Pellinore realised this almost immediately.

'Who in Merlin's name are you?' he said angrily, wand in an offensive position.

'Delphinus Black,' she breathed in reply, almost entirely sure he would not believe this at all. He didn't, and Tonks found herself under the Cruciatus Curse. The pain was bearable – just. Growing accustomed to the Cruciatus Curse was among the first things taught in Auror training. Beside her, Snape twitched, showing a brief moment of hesitation. It seemed as though Pellinore had given him a controversial order, because even a twitch from Snape was considered almost angst.

It was true that Auror training had prepared the cadets for the Cruciatus Curse. They had not considered the possibility of two Cruciatus Curses at once. It would be a shortcoming that the Department would need to be informed of upon her return. This, of course, was if she managed to return. White stars darted across her vision. She slammed her head back into the shelf, smashing a Prophecy. As the pain reached an inconceivable peak of excruciation, she let out a scream.

**A/N: So that was part two of the multi-viewpoint cliffhanger. I'm not quite happy with it, but oh well. Don't forget to review! Peace out.**


	32. Chapter Twenty Eight

Summary: Tonks, Sirius, Snape, Narcissa, Luna, Dobby and Bob the Dementor must save the Wizarding World one evil faction at a time. Together, they walk the downward spiral to insanity.

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Disclaimer: (I guess I should probably include this) Harry Potter and all related characters property of J.K. Rowling.

Author's Note: Yes, it's been a while. Stuff has been massively hectic, but now I have my mid-semester break, and I can probably fit a few chapters in amongst the assignments for next term.

Chapter Twenty Eight

It was a commonly tested theory that unconsciousness was far preferable to the excruciating pain of the Cruciatus Curse. Far less tested is the theory that death would be preferable to two Cruciatus Curses at once. Even if one of the casters didn't really have their heart in it. At least, subconsciously, Tonks _hoped_ that Snape didn't have his heart in it. Seven years of her under their tutelage might be enough for anyone to go over to the dark side.

Then, suddenly, then pain stopped. It was unnoticeable at first; the afterthought of pain lingered. But then the sharp contrast of relief was evident, despite the fact that she couldn't move. Staying still was fine, breathing was fine. Any other movement would result in painful jolts that were enough to keep her stationary.

There were flashes of light around her, accompanied by shouting. The Order. Something about the Order felt familiar. Was the Order there? Were they coming? Why was it so hard to breathe? Mind clouded, what was that voice, behind everything else. What was it saying?

_Kill_..._Kill him_. The voice, it was so soft – like one of those fluffy white clouds on a cold winters' day. She found herself standing, joints screaming. Her fingers gripped tightly around her wand. In her other hand, there was a glass ball between her fingers. What is it?

_It is not important_, the voice answered. _What is important is the man. The man in the green hat. You must kill him_.

She looked around, and couldn't see anyone who was wearing a green hat. There was a man with long greasy hair, fighting another man who had a goatee. Neither of them were wearing hats. Another man, wearing a purple fez. He seemed to be saying something. Tonks. Tonks? Was that her name? She couldn't think, it was all too confusing.

_Kill the man in the green hat._

Where is he? She felt like screaming.

And then, a sudden influx of people into the room. _Aurors_, the back of her mind said, behind that soft voice. And there, behind them, a man in a green hat. It was lime green, barely deserving of the name.

_Kill him. _But I shouldn't, should I? I don't want to kill anyone.

_Kill him_. The voice grew stronger, trying its hardest to overcome her doubts. This was, apparently, a rather strong Imperius.

_Kill__-_I know! She cut off the voice, and raised her wand. She had not cast this spell before, not even in training. _Training? What training?_ It was the other voice this time. The doubtful one. She brushed it off. She would cast this Curse if it killed her.

Wand pointed at Cornelius Fudge, unsuspecting of an attack from one of his own employees, she yelled, '_Avada Kedavra_.' There was a flash of green light and the Minster for Magic collapsed dead. And then, her mind felt so much clearer. The pain in that encompassed her body was unbearable. The pain that encompassed her mind was worse. It was unforgivable. People from both sides had stopped to stare, forgetting their half finished duels.

Someone – she couldn't see who – had tackled her to the ground. Her head slammed against the concrete, and, in lieu of the pain that no Cruciatus Curse had brought, she welcomed the unconsciousness.

A/N: That chapter felt a little different. Better, worse? Tell me what you think.


	33. Chapter Twenty Nine

Summary: Tonks, Sirius, Snape, Narcissa, Luna, Dobby and Bob the Dementor must save the Wizarding World one evil faction at a time. Together, they walk the downward spiral to insanity.

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Disclaimer: (I guess I should probably include this) Harry Potter and all related characters property of J.K. Rowling.

Chapter Twenty Nine

After having cast the Imperius Curse, Pellinore ran. He did not want to be associated with the event, but the eventual discovery of his activities was likely. Most members of the Wizarding Mafia could cast the Cruciatus Curse, and the Killing Curse, but there were only a few that could work the Imperius Curse. Evidently this was due to the fact that former curses had a much more direct effect, and thus were to the liking of enforcers.

The fight had spread throughout the Department, some attempting to flee, some attempting to send for help. One of the help-seekers had undoubtedly succeeded, as the Minister for Magic was laying dead on the floor, his killer brought down just metres away. Unconscious, someone had incarcerated the Auror so that they could continue to fight. Pellinore ran down the side of the Hall, determined to dispose of his other three prisoners. All other security problems could wait. In doorway that led to the Time Room, Damien was engaged in battle with three – no, four – redheads. He had just awoken from Dumbledore's stunner, and was angrily out for blood. Ron, the one that had been imprisoned, had acquired a wand from one of the lifeless bodies that littered the room. He was having a bit of trouble with it though, as it was currently spurting oranges at a rather increased rate.

'_Avada-_' started Pellinore, but he stopped, as all four Weasleys turned to look at him.

'_Stupefy_,' was the spell that they chose, ignoring Damien, who had sustained a concussion from an orange that struck his head at the speed of a rather fast motorcycle. Pellinore ducked the crimson light as it struck a shelf of prophecies, bringing the glass balls crashing to the ground. A few other objects – explosive objects – were thrown after him, but missed, sending yet another shelf of prophecies tumbling.

Turning into a door picked at random, Pellinore found himself in the Death Chamber. It was massive and, as it came accompanied with several "to the death" battles, vaguely Colosseum-like. Along several stone seats, a blonde girl, a house elf and a Dementor fought Jonah, one of the Wizarding Mafia's more capable enforcers. If there was something odd about the battle, Pellinore did not care for it, as he had just seen something that shocked him. Harry Potter and Sirius Black, _fighting side by side_ against Apollo, another capable enforcer. Apollo was losing, badly, and Pellinore sought to intervene. The Killing Curse would suffice on both, but they could not be done at the same time. Instead, Pellinore decided to use a different tactic, one that had already proved successful on this night.

Pointing his wand at the distracted Sirius Black, Pellinore said '_Imperio_.'

Sirius stopped fighting. He looked around aimlessly, confused by the sudden lack of thought in his mind.

_Kill Harry. Kill Harry._ Sirius struggled with his wand, struggling doggedly against the spell. Then, Apollo hit him with a spell, Pellinore didn't care which, as long as it broke the concentration. It worked – Sirius turned to his Godson and raised his wand.

'_Avada Kedavra_.' Pellinore would have been surprised to see that the words were not spoken by Sirius Black, but he was already dead. The spell had come from behind him, though its timeliness did not put either Sirius or Harry in a better position. A second Killing Curse removed Apollo from the scene.

'And they expected that they would be welcomed into our army with open arms,' Lord Voldemort sneered.

Suddenly, the room seemed just that much colder.

A/N: This update was done in the hopes that Tierfal doesn't actually need to destroy assessment pieces to receive an update. Thanks all for the reviews. They make me feel special.


	34. Chapter Thirty

Summary: Tonks, Sirius, Snape, Narcissa, Luna, Dobby and Bob the Dementor must save the Wizarding World one evil faction at a time. Together, they walk the downward spiral to insanity.

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Disclaimer: (I guess I should probably include this) Harry Potter and all related characters property of J.K. Rowling.

Author's Note: Okay, so technically speaking, I have another 6 days to do my assignment. Here's another chapter.

Chapter Thirty

It was quite obvious that Voldemort had brought his Death Eaters to the party. The majority of the Wizarding Mafia had been incapacitated by the sophisticated wand work of some of the more senior Order members. The bread sticks to the Death Eaters' entree. Dumbledore took his leave, interested in finding the main course. Voldemort was the real threat, which was what the Headmaster had been telling the Ministry for weeks. It had been a little over eighteen days since the return of Voldemort, and a full assault on the Ministry was apparently what it took for the threat to be realised. Around him, Order members, Ministry workers and Death Eaters alike were falling, joining the ranks of the dead, unconscious or otherwise out of action on the Hall of Prophecies floor. Surely Voldemort, if he had indeed shown up, would be where Harry was. The prophecy was unimportant to the Dark Lord now that his ultimate prey was so close at hand.

The Death Chamber was almost silent, but for the sound of stray spells destroying whatever they hit. Luna, Dobby and Bob the Dementor watched what lay before them, enemy vanquished at their feet. On the dais below, Sirius Black, "notorious Dark Lord supporter" fought Voldemort, silent spells growing increasingly powerful. Harry was crouched behind the dais, reluctantly. Sirius was losing, and would soon be dead without help. Dumbledore was happy to oblige. A jet of orange light shot between the duelling pair, shaking the ground beneath them. Voldemort looked upwards at the source of the unexpected spell.

'It is only a matter of time before the Aurors find you, Tom. Tonight they are here in force – I suspect that your already diminished followers are being overwhelmed.'

'Then they show me true loyalty.' Voldemort's voice reverberated in the chamber, his other opponent all but forgotten. 'They will be rewarded...when the time comes.'

Almost as suddenly as the appearance of Dumbledore, the duel between the world's two most powerful wizards began. It was a mesmerising sight, filled with things that most students would not see in their magical education. Sirius and Harry moved out of the way just in time, as a wall of fire encircled the duel. A golden phoenix soared down upon Voldemort, attacking ruthlessly. In return, the Dark Lord conjured a sea serpent, drenching the wall of flames in salty water. The battle continued in much the same way, magnificent spells repelled by both parties. As with most battles, this particular one was ended by an interruption. In this circumstance, credit could be given to none other than Severus Snape. His spell threw Dumbledore and Voldemort apart, yet still gave no indication as to which side he was truly on.

'Show your loyalty, Severus. Kill Dumbledore. He has been a party to far too many obstructions. Kill him now so that I may be the Dark Lord that I once was.' Snape raised his wand.

'No!' Harry leapt forward, unable to be stopped by Sirius.

There was a loud bang, and all parties were thrown backwards, the scene clouded by thick black smoke. When the smoke cleared, Voldemort was gone.

Rufus Scrimgeour's wand was the source of the explosion. He had entered just as Harry jumped at Snape, and felt compelled to intervene.

'What happened here?' he asked. Harry opened his mouth to speak, but Dumbledore interrupted him.

'The Dark Lord has returned, Rufus, I hope you are not too proud to see that that is the case. Cornelius-'

'Cornelius is dead, Albus. Murdered by a Ministry member.'

'I did warn you of that possibility. The Imperius Curse is quite popular amongst certain groups.' Dumbledore had a hint of sadness in his eyes, though whether it was at the death of the Minister for Magic or at the fact that his warning had not been heeded was unclear.

'There will be a full enquiry. In the meantime, though, Miss Tonks will be detained in Azkaban.' Sirius made a derisive noise at this remark.

'You think all Blacks are scum, don't you Mr. Scrimgeour?' Sirius spoke up at last, and his presence did not deter the head of the Aurors.

'You too will be held in Azkaban, Mr. Black, though I am quite confident that your actions will be duly explained by the Headmaster.'

'After fourteen years,' muttered Sirius, 'I'm glad someone's giving me the chance.'

A/N:Should be two more chapters after this, followed by an epilogue. Then comes the exciting events of the sequel. Tossing up between two names for the sequel, one being "Getting the Band Back Together", the other being "Down the Rabbit-Hole". Give me your opinions, and I'll give you the last three parts. Peace out.


	35. Chapter Thirty One

Summary: Tonks, Sirius, Snape, Narcissa, Luna, Dobby and Bob the Dementor must save the Wizarding World one evil faction at a time. Together, they walk the downward spiral to insanity.

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Disclaimer: (I guess I should probably include this) Harry Potter and all related characters property of J.K. Rowling.

Author's Note: Okay, so technically speaking, I have another 6 days to do my assignment. Here's another chapter.

Chapter Thirty One

Despite the reprieve in battle in the Death Chamber, in the Hall of Prophecies, peace had not yet come to pass. Narcissa Malfoy found herself being forced to take a side. Her husband was fighting against the Order, and she had no idea what to do. There was, of course, the thought of joining him – cementing her place as a follower of the Dark Lord. But then Draco would be effectively parentless should they be captured, and who knew what kind of consequence the Ministry's interference would have on his upbringing. Conversely, she could convince Lucius to turn, but, not only would that be difficult – even with the famous Black stubbornness – but it would put Draco in more danger than before. So she did what she had to.

Lucius had been engaged in battle with Kingsley Shacklebolt. It hadn't been a short fight, nor a particularly pretty fight. Kingsley now lay unconscious, his robes streaked with blood. Narcissa looked into her husband's eyes, obscured thought they were.

'_Levicorpus_.' It was the first spell that came into her mind, its appropriateness a moot point. Lucius had dropped his wand as he was lifted up into the air, and was now attempting to reach it unsuccessfully. Narcissa walked over to him.

'_Just play along for now_,' she whispered into his ear, before conjuring rope about his hands and feet. She did not elaborate – if she did, he wouldn't like it. Playing along for now might be all very well, but that was assuming things would end well for Lucius, which they wouldn't. Not unless one considered a stint in Azkaban ending well.

Behind Narcissa, Dumbledore re-entered the Hall, followed by Rufus Scrimgeour, Harry Potter, Sirius Black, Luna Lovegood, Dobby and Bob the Dementor. It was quite the crowd. Scrimgeour, knowing when he was out-classed, allowed Dumbledore to take point.

Narcissa could see why the Dark Lord was so fearful of the Hogwarts Headmaster. A flick of the wand, and all Death Eaters and Mafia enforcers were instantly trussed up. One wondered why he hadn't done it earlier. Narcissa remained bondless.

'Have some of your people escort the injured to St Mungo's, Rufus. There is also the unfortunate necessity of the Ministry requiring a new Minister.'

'I assume you'll be telling me just what it Merlin's name is going on, Dumbledore? We've got a sudden outbreak of evil wizards here.'

Dumbledore gave one of his enigmatic smiles that had grown famous during Voldemort's first uprising. 'All in due time, Rufus. Though as the first order of business, I believe you will find a traitor in the Department of Mysteries staff. Two in fifteen years, that really must be a Ministry record. I will inform you of all subsequent actions _after_ a new Minister for Magic is chosen.'

Scrimgeour growled, though it was not an aggressive sound. 'No point in holding the vote, really. Amelia's got it hands down.'

'Nonetheless,' smiled Dumbledore. 'There are still things to be done, formalities. And I think we'll find that after all that, we'll find that we'll have quite a story on our hands.'

A/N: One chapter, then the epilogue. Read it, Enjoy it, Review it. Pick at least two.


	36. Chapter Thirty Two

Summary: Tonks, Sirius, Snape, Narcissa, Luna, Dobby and Bob the Dementor must save the Wizarding World one evil faction at a time. Together, they walk the downward spiral to insanity.

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Disclaimer: (I guess I should probably include this) Harry Potter and all related characters property of J.K. Rowling.

Chapter Thirty Two

Hospital food was bad. Prison food was bad. In the past, Tonks had only had the misfortune to experience one of the two, albeit one on a rather constant basis. Now, though, she found herself partaking in a rather unfortunate amalgamation of the two. The meal was supposedly beef with vegetables, but it looked as though it had been hit with a Blasting Curse. After a single bite, Tonks retched. It _tasted_ as though it had been hit with a Blasting Curse as well. She almost would have preferred to be in St Mungos, hearing a healer say something along the lines of "sixth time this year? You really must be more careful, Miss Tonks!" Technically, it would have only been the fifth time that year – the ambiguous "sixth time" had been the result of a nasty accident in the course of leaving the hospital for a completely unrelated injury.

That had been embarrassing.

Unable to finish the meal, she put down her fork and made a small sound of disgust. A voice from the right startled her.

'You finally got yours, did you?'

Tonks groaned. Of all the people they had to room her with, it had to be the person that she'd arrested the week before. If she had been conscious when they'd brought her in, she might well have said something about it.

'Learning experience, Docarus. Spend a week in prison, makes me feel all the more eager to send people like you there.'

He snarled at her. 'I think you'll be spending a lot more than a week. Rumour has it you killed the Minster for Magic. That'll get you five times the sentence I got. Make no mistake; I'll be telling people what you are.'

This statement told Tonks two things, firstly, that while people knew she had killed the Minister, they didn't know that she had been under the Imperius Curse. Secondly, that Docarus hadn't yet been in a cell. If he thought that he'd get a chance to speak to anyone with the Dementors around whilst in a single person cell, he had another thing coming.

'Oh get a grip, Docarus. They'll heal you eventually.' She hadn't meant to hospitalise him indefinitely. Her wandwork was just a little too...enthusiastic sometimes. Auror or not, she still made mistakes.

Footsteps indicated that either a guard or a healer was on the way. It turned out to be a guard. Tonks recognised him from Hogwarts. He had been three years above her, and probably should have amounted to more than a guard at a prison.

'Tonks. Moving you out today.' He threw her the prison regalia without the slightest hint of recognition. He waved his wand at the bed curtain to give her some brief privacy.

'Enjoy your time in Azkaban,' Docarus called after Tonks, as the guard led her to a cell. She passed Sirius, giving him a quick wave that went unnoticed. It was with little amusement that she noted Bob hanging around outside his cell. Further along was Bellatrix, looking more insane than when she had first entered the prison, which, Tonks thought, was saying something. At least with Bellatrix, anyway. The guard put her in the cell two down from Bellatrix, right on the far wall of the prison.

The guard looked at her, his expression finally something other than cold indifference. 'I've been told to tell you that your case is pending a Wizengamot hearing which may take any time between three days and three years. Meals will be given at 9am and 9pm, and the best way to learn the rules is to break them. On a personal note, I give you the advice to strongly attempt not going insane.' The word insane brought something up in Tonks's memory. She slumped down on the hard prison mattress.

Insane. The prophecy had that in it, didn't it? Something about a path to something. She realised that after all that, they hadn't even managed to find out what the prophecy said. If it hadn't already been fulfilled, then that meant there would be some interesting times ahead.


	37. Epilogue

Summary: Tonks, Sirius, Snape, Narcissa, Luna, Dobby and Bob the Dementor must save the Wizarding World one evil faction at a time. Together, they walk the downward spiral to insanity.

Ratings: T (downgraded for now, because it doesn't seem as though I'll be doing anything_ too_ profane)

Timeline: Post Goblet of Fire, pre Order of the Phoenix, though keeping in mind the various character and spell introductions of the final books.

Disclaimer: (I guess I should probably include this) Harry Potter and all related characters property of J.K. Rowling.

A/N: Note that this started off as Chapter Thirty Two before I made the realisation that it would work ten times better as the epilogue.

Epilogue

The atmosphere at Grimmauld Place was one of cautious optimism. It had been nearly twenty-four hours since the Battle of the Department of Mysteries, and there were no prominent signs of backlash.

To Harry, Ron and Hermione, it seemed as though Molly had cooked up a feast. They hadn't eaten properly in a while, so half a loaf of bread and a turnip would have seemed like a feast. Much to the teenagers' chagrin, Narcissa and Draco Malfoy had taken up residence in the house, though they were not yet allowed to attend meetings of the Order of the Phoenix. Fred, George and Ginny had found themselves grounded for the remainder of the holidays, despite the fact that firstly, they "took out three Death Eaters!", and secondly "It's not as if there's anywhere to go anyway!" Dumbledore visited every now and again; according to the Extendable Ears, his time was either spent in Wizengamot hearings or out searching for "Horcruxes". Not even Hermione knew what these so-called "Horcruxes" were, and Harry made a mental note to visit the library a little more often. Tonks and Sirius were still in Azkaban, even in light of the repeated actions of the new Minister for Magic, Amelia Bones. Apparently Fudge's old office was trying to find any law possible to throw at them, relevant or not. Bob the Dementor had rejoined his brothers in Azkaban, determined to stay close to Sirius. Another Extendable Ear session revealed the Dementors were growing increasingly out of control, so informed Snape, who had heard rumours from the Death Eaters. No close relatives of Luna's could be found. She told the Department of Magical Law Enforcement that she was perfectly happy to be staying with the Weasleys. The Department was fine with that – it limited the paperwork. After all the excitement, Harry was shocked to find that there was still almost a month and a half of holidays left. Harry found himself not as excited to hear this as he expected. Of course, he had the Weasleys, Hermione and Luna to entertain him, but the hole that Sirius left was glaring. "Not long now", Lupin assured Harry most days. Harry thought that Lupin was just reassuring himself, mostly. Luna made the comment that it was not Sirius that Lupin was reassuring himself about, but no-one was paying that much attention. Soon after, Snape reported Voldemort's disposal of the remainder of the Wizarding Mafia. The Dark Lord had apparently decided that anyone not directly under his control was a hindrance. He recruited those worthy, and killed those that were not. Harry wondered whether that really fulfilled the terms of the prophecy, as they hadn't gotten rid of the Wizarding Mafia themselves, but as Hermione pointed out, prophecies weren't known for their directness, not even those of particularly articulate Seers. 'Besides,' Ron had added. 'If they hadn't of kidnapped us, then Voldemort wouldn't have gotten involved. Indirectly I guess we were the cause of their downfall.' He shrugged, and then challenged Harry to a game of Wizard's Chess. It would have been a better loss if he had surrendered on the first move, Harry decided.

And then, Dumbledore came to see Harry. It was not a surprise visit – members of the Order had spent most of the previous day saying to him "Dumbledore's coming to see you tomorrow". The headmaster took him into a room where none could hear them. Harry was sure at least two of the people he had passed in the hallway had given him looks of lament.

Once in the room, Dumbledore lowered his hands and surveyed Harry through his half-moon glasses. 'It is time,' he said, 'for me to tell you what I should have told you five years ago, Harry. Please sit down. I am going to tell you everything.'

The End.

A/N: Note the shamelessly ripped paragraph from the Order of the Phoenix. Not mine. Thanks for the ride, and I hope you'll all stay on for the sequel which will be released at an unconfirmed date with an unconfirmed title. Seeing as how it's the end, tell me what you liked, what you disliked, and what you thought was just plain weird. This way, I can make the sequel even better. Peace it out!


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